


Little boy (inside my chest)

by Bill_Longbow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AIM are bastards, Avengers Family, Child Abuse, De-Aged Bucky Barnes, De-Aged Tony Stark, Don't copy to another site, Happy Ending, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Panic Attacks, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, The rest of canon will be ignored
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2020-09-28 13:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20426555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow
Summary: After a grueling fight, Tony and Bucky are captured by AIM and wake up in captivity to find themselves de-aged. With no memory of their adult lives, they form a bond. Once the Avengers re-age them, will the bond carry?





	1. The capture

**Author's Note:**

  * For [snnaaft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snnaaft/gifts).

> My MTH fic, finally!  
Written for a wonderful prompt by Rae. Thank you for your patience and pompomming throughout the process!  
Also a big, big thank you to [Betheflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betheflame/) for betaing and cheering and brainstorming, and to [Marie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HogwartsToAlexandria/) for cheering me on!
> 
> The title comes from a song by Barnes Courtney with the same name, and I particularly like this part:
> 
> _Little boy inside my chest_  
_Breathe some life into my bones_  
_I've been lost and wandering_  
_Down and out and missing home_
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments!

“Don’t step out of the suit!” 

Steve knows it’s fruitless to yell, he’s too far away and the comms are dead, but he has to try. Somehow AIM managed to separate Tony from the rest of them and Bucky jumped to his rescue when the suit seemed to be in trouble. Steve keeps an eye out on their fight, but he’s fighting three of the enhanced fire breathers himself, who do a good job of keeping him busy and away from where Tony and Bucky are clearly struggling. They have to end this fight and be quick about it, but they are short staffed with Bruce on the other side of the country for a lecture and Thor off planet.

“On your left,” is all the warning Steve gets to jump to the side as War Machine comes flying over and decapitates one of the enhanced with his laser beam.

“Get to Tony!” Steve yells at the colonel, hoping he’ll pick it up above the din of the battle. Steve doesn’t understand how the War Machine suit isn’t affected by whatever they did to the comms and Tony’s suit, but damn if he isn’t grateful about it when Jim answers him with a thumbs up and speeding away. That leaves two enhanced, which is a much more even fight. He holds his shield in front of his face as one opens their mouth to spit fire his way, when suddenly the air is torn by a huge explosion, throwing him backwards. Above him he sees Sam hurtling through the air amidst pieces of debris, bouncing against a nearby building and falling down to the ground in perfect silence. The blast has rendered Steve deaf for a few moments, followed by a high pitched noise, and then sound comes blasting back.

Steve takes the moment of confusion to take his shield and break the neck of the nearest enhanced fighter. The other has disappeared while Steve was distracted by the blast. In the corner of his eye, he sees Sam getting up and so Steve runs in the direction of where he last saw Bucky and Tony, not coincidentally the direction the explosion came from. What is left of AIM seems to be retreating, chased down by agents of SHIELD, but Steve pays them no attention, he has to get to his friends. Something is wrong. Something is very wrong and he runs to where he last saw them chanting _ please be alive, please be alive _ over and over in his head.

He high jumps onto a low roof when he suddenly hears kids crying, a sound so alien on a battlefield that he nearly loses his handhold. He scrambles onto the roof and climbs up the next one, making his way climbing and jumping to where he last saw his friends. 

He resolutely shoves the thought that they are dead as far away as he can as he goes as fast as super-humanly possible. Finally, _ finally _, he comes upon the spot and dread rises along his spine to settle deep within his core. In a corner the War Machine suit lays slumped as dead as the comms, but that isn't what punched the air from Steve's lungs as if he'd been hit. 

On the roof where his friends are supposed to be are only some pieces of the Iron Man’s armour and Bucky’s rifle.

  
_________________________________________________________

Pain and an overwhelming sense of… of _ wrongness _, but he can’t place it. Tony tries to open his eyes and is overcome by the need to throw up. He barely manages to roll to the side to spew out a bitter liquid, hacking and coughing until his body lets him relax again. Someone rubs over his back and it helps a bit. He doesn’t know why he’s on the floor, but somehow Jarvis always knows when he’s feeling down or off and how to take care of him.

When the retching stops he slumps backwards and waits for the pain in his head and the nausea to subside before he opens his eyes again.

The sight makes panic surge through his body, clawing at his throat and making it difficult to breathe. He’s not at home, he’s in a… he’s in a cell! He frantically looks around for Jarvis to cling to, but the only one here with him is another boy who sits back to watch him with sad eyes. Tony scrambles onto his ass and backwards as far away as he can, pulling his legs up against his chest when his back hits the wall. 

The movement makes _ something _ in his chest jostle, and when he puts his hand on it he feels something cold and hard instead of his skin. He tears at his shirt, which is much too large for him, to stare with disbelief at the contraption in his chest. He recognizes it instantly because Howard was working on it with that Russian man. An arc reactor. 

_ They put an arc reactor inside his chest. _

He has trouble breathing as he stares at the blue glow coming from the middle of his chest and panic takes over. Everything is wrong. He can’t remember how he got here, he can’t remember surgery. He can’t breathe as he claws at the thing with his nails. _ It needs to go. It needs to go. _ He sucks in wheezing gasps of breath, willing his lungs to cooperate, but for every breath he tries to take he _ feels _ it against his ribs and it intensifies his fear to the point where there’s no air coming and he hears a faint ringing in his ears.

He yells when hands cover his own and pull him away from the wall and he tries to fight them off, but he’s too weak and the hands are strong and they pull him with his back against something warm… a chest. The hands don’t restrain him but hold him against said chest and it must be the other boy who’s taking deep breaths, letting his ribcage expand and deflate against Tony’s back in a soothing rhythm. 

He tries to follow it, tries to concentrate on the puffs of air against his neck and to follow the tempo with his own breaths, which grow steadily less shallow until he’s able to breathe by himself.

“There ya go,” the boy mutters, “Good job, kid.” He carefully lets go of Tony and moves away a bit. Tony pulls his arms around his chest and turns to look at him. The boy is older than him by a few years. A lot taller than Tony, but skinny. Clearly a prisoner too, going by the clothes that don’t fit and the haunted look in his eyes.

“Where are we?” Tony whispers, hoping the boy has some answers. He looks familiar, but Tony can’t catch onto the memory the boy’s face triggers. The boy shrugs and holds his arms around himself protectively at Tony’s inquisitive gaze. Only then does Tony notice the metal of his left arm, protruding from his too large shirt, and this again sparks another something in his brain that he can’t pursue. 

“Do I know you?” Maybe whatever they did to Tony damaged his brain, but the other boy might be in better shape.

The boy shrugs again and shakes his head. “You were here when I woke up. Don’t know much else.”

Tony nods. It’s clear they hurt the other as well. This is nothing like his other kidnapping. He knew where he was and why with that one. They never let him out of their sight either, and despite some rough handling they didn’t really hurt him. Not like this, not_ inserting a device into his chest. _ The mere thought takes his breath away again and he hides his head between his knees, forcing his lungs to behave. 

_ I can do this, I can do this. I’m a Stark. Stark men are made of iron. _

He hates the mantra as much as it helps him, getting him through nights where he can’t lie in any way that doesn’t hurt, after Howard took out his frustration on him. 

If he can survive that he can survive anything. Jarvis said so himself.

“I’m Tony,” he says when he’s calm enough to talk again, and sticks out his hand. He hopes this boy can be an ally.

The boy looks him up and down for a moment before shaking his hand. “James, but evr’one calls me Bucky.”

Tony nods and sits back. “How’d you get here?”

“Dunno, I woke up here and then I had this?” Bucky holds up his metal arm before he cradles it to his chest again. Whatever medical procedure they had used had given Bucky amnesia as well. 

Tony draws his knees up to his chest and looks around himself to find a clue where they are. He can’t remember the past few… weeks? Months? He vaguely recalls a fight and an explosion, but that might as well have been a dream because he was sure he had been bigger. The loss of his memory scares him even more than being kidnapped. Who knows what happened to them?

He opens his mouth to ask Bucky how long he’s been here before Tony came, when Bucky sits up in alarm and holds up his hand for Tony to stay quiet. For a moment, all he hears is their breathing and the faint buzzing of the device in his chest, but then he picks up what Bucky heard: footsteps outside their door.

With a rattle, a hatch in the door opens and someone looks in, only to close it again. “They’re both awake,” the man says behind the closed door. Tony doesn’t hear anyone else, but then the man speaks again, so he probably has something like a walkie talkie. “Understood.”  
  
Another hatch opens, this one lower to the ground and Bucky moves lightning quick to sit in front of Tony, effectively shielding him from whatever will come through the door. He needn’t have bothered, since the man throws in two packets of bread and two juice boxes before closing the hatch again.

Only after the footsteps of the man moving away can’t be heard anymore does Bucky move to the food and examine it by opening and sniffing both the bread and the juice. Tony watches fascinated. It wouldn’t have occurred to him to check the food for poison. He takes the food Bucky has deemed safe enough to eat and stuffs his face. Now that he’s calmer his headache has died down and with it the nausea, leaving him famished.  
  
“How long have you been here?” He asks around a mouth full of cheese sandwich. 

Bucky shrugs as he chews. “Two meals,” he adds when he’s swallowed the bite. He looks at the rest of his sandwich and neatly tears it in two. “Here.” He holds out one half for Tony. “You’ve been unconscious the whole time, ya must be hungry.” 

Tony takes it reluctantly, but his stomach growls even as his fingers touch the bread and he quickly wolves it down. 

When the food and juice are gone Tony feels at a loss. It’s obvious they’re not escaping from this room. Now that the adrenaline of finding himself being kidnapped and experimented on has somewhat subsided, he feels a terrible loneliness take hold of him. He has no clue where he is, and he’s been here obviously long enough to be operated on and heal after that. Maybe he wakes up every day in this cell without memory of yesterday. Maybe he’s been here for months. Jarvis might be out looking for him, maybe the police. His mom will be missing him but she always abides by Howard’s decisions, and Howard… Howard isn’t going to aid any search and rescue party.

Tony feels his lower lip quiver and he hides his face in the crook between his knees, legs pulled up to his chest again. He has learned a long time ago not to show weakness in front of strangers, but he can’t help missing Jarvis and his mom. Not for the first time does he wish he was as strong as Captain America. He could kick in the door, defeat the kidnappers and give Bucky a piggyback ride back home. 

Tony chances a look at the boy who sits much in the same posture as him a little way away. Is Bucky named after Captain America’s Bucky, he wonders, but he doesn’t dare ask. He lowers his head onto his knees and wonders what time it is. Would Jarvis be in the kitchen preparing something delicious? Or would he be in the laundry room ironing Howard’s shirts? Would he even have time to miss Tony as much as he misses him?

Thinking of home makes his eyes moisten, and Tony bites his lower lip to keep a sob in. It’s no use. He’s cold and scared and miserable and weak, Howard is right about that. He tries to cry as silently as possible, but of course Bucky with his freaky good hearing notices and scoots over. Tony buries his face tighter against his thighs, he can’t stand a scolding for being weak now, but startles when he’s pulled into a hug with Bucky folding his larger body around Tony’s smaller one. 

They sit like that for a long time.


	2. The escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony get to know a little more about their captors and learn they are not without friends.

Somehow they fall asleep sitting cuddled together, but Tony blearily wakes up when Bucky shakes him. There are footsteps outside their door, more than one pair, and Bucky all but pulls Tony behind himself again when the door opens.

They blink against the harsh light in the hallway from which several shapes, men, enter their dimly lit cell. Two of the men are wearing huge rifles which they keep trained on Bucky and Tony, and they both sit as still as possible on instinct. 

_ Oh god, oh god, oh god. Please don’t hurt us anymore, please, please, please. _

A third man walks into their cell, dressed in an expensive suit, but Tony can tell it doesn’t fit as well as it should. The man feels familiar like Bucky did, but now Tony feels an instant dislike. From his pomade blond hair to his ridiculous horn rimmed glasses to his bright blue suede shoes, the man oozes bad taste from every pore. 

“Well, well, well, well,” the man starts, rubbing his hands like he’s about to do something exciting. “Seems like we caught ourselves the big fish, huh, huh?” He turns around with a smile to the armoured men who keep looking straight at Tony and Bucky. The man isn’t deterred however, going so far as to elbow one of them against the arm before he turns back to Tony and Bucky.

“I must apologize for the way these guys put you up,” he says, holding his hands to the side in supplication. “But you know how it is, not much choice in five star hotels when you’re a wanted fugitive,” he shrugs and crouches down to come at eye level with them, but staying close to the guards. “You’ll get used to it, Anthony,  _ I _ certainly have,  **thanks to you** .” Here the mask of joviality slips and Tony crouches behind Bucky when the man raises his voice and looks at Tony like he’d like to strangle him barehanded. Bucky sits up straighter, and Tony feels him coil like a viper ready to attack, but the next moment the man straightens again and the tension lowers. 

“We’ll start by doing some tests to see if shrinking that noggin of yours makes you any less useful,” the man says and nods at the guards. They both step forward and motion for Bucky to sit back. When he refuses one uses the butt of his gun to knock him to the side, a sharp sound Tony knows all too well, and before they can hurt Bucky any more he jumps up and towards the man in the suit. When he looks back when they pull him from the cell he sees Bucky holding his cheek and looking at him with those sad eyes that somehow have haunted him for longer than just today.

  
  
  


The tests are really just that. Broad spectrum intelligence tests Tony already passed when he was two. Now, at four, they’re ridiculously easy for him, but he can’t feel any joy in completing them. They do serve a purpose; as he is led from and to their cell he takes in as many details as possible. He thinks they must be in an underground facility, quite large considering the power cables and other plumbing he sees overhead. The facility wasn’t made to house prisoners as far as he can tell, but seems to be some sort of laboratory, but he can’t be too obvious, because when a guard catches him looking at the overhead cabling he smacks him on the back of his head.

After about four hours of testing the guard who hit Bucky viciously shoves Tony back into the cell, making him fall and bruise his knees. Bucky is next to him before the bolts of the door are shut behind him, and looks him over for any sign of hurt. “You okay?”

Tony nods and is glad to see Bucky only has a faint bruise on his cheek; the smack had sounded a lot louder. 

"Here." Bucky helps him up and examines his knees while Tony leans on his shoulder. "Just bruises, you'll walk," is the verdict and it makes Tony giggle. 

"I'm not made of sugar, you know," he says as Bucky straightens. 

_ I'm Iron Man.  _

The thought is as fleeting as everything he tries to remember and it's gone completely when Bucky puts his arm around Tony's shoulder to lead him towards some blankets. 

"Look, we got gifts," Bucky says and pulls a shirt and pants from the pile. He offers it to Tony and turns around politely. "What did they want?" Bucky asks as Tony pulls off the old garments and puts on the smaller ones. 

"IQ tests," Tony answers and Bucky nods when Tony is done and lets himself drop on the blankets. Tony wonders if he should sit a little way away, give Bucky a little space, but Bucky reaches out to pull him close. Tony goes gladly. He hates waiting more than anything, and the cell makes him feel anxious and sad. Having Bucky close by helps a little, and he tentatively snuggles closer.

“I’m scared,” Tony admits quietly, hiding his face in the crook of his arm. Bucky surprises him by putting his arm around him. 

"Me too," the older boy says. "They're crazy." 

Tony nods. He doesn't know what to think about how the man thinks they know each other, or what he meant with shrinking his head. Maybe the device in his chest is to control his brain? Make him forget?

Bucky shifts so he's leaning his head next to Tony's. "I've done some testin'," he whispers very softly. "This arm is crazy strong. If we can find the right moment…"

Tony nods again, but then Bucky pushes him behind himself, moments before the door opens again. 

"D'aww, ain't that the cutest?" It's the unhinged man again, holding his hands behind his back. A guard in full armour lurks in the doorway.

"Now, Anthony, since you've done such a good job on the tests," the man says with a baby voice, making him even more ridiculous than before, "you have earned a treat!"

The man beams at them like this should spark joy instead of fear, and clearly waits for some sort of reaction. When Tony and Bucky just stare at him, huddled together against the far wall, he finally thrusts his hands forward.

“Tadaa! It’s a do-it-yourself kit!” The man bends forward and holds out a box to Tony. He really doesn’t want to take it, but he also wants to please the man if it means they stay unharmed. Reluctantly he reaches out to take it, but at the last moment the man pulls it back again.

“Ah ah ah, not so fast. There’s a catch.  _ You _ ,” and here the man indicates both Bucky and Tony, “will get your next meal when it’s done. And only then.”

The man holds it out again and this time allows Tony to take it from him. Tony sits back as fast as he can with the box in his hands; he can’t stand to be near the man who pretends he doesn’t notice.

“Have fun!” The man cheerfully says as he backs away from the room. “I hear they’ve got applesauce,” he singsongs, and with that the door closes behind him with a clang.

After sharing a look with Bucky Tony carefully opens the box to find it without an instruction manual. He carefully picks up the different parts and puts them neatly next to him on the ground. He quickly sees which parts fit together and how the whole structure should look like, and he also notices there are too many parts.

_ It’s a test. _

He can do tests. 

Meticulously, he puts together the pieces, but pockets two of the spare parts with a quick look at Bucky. 

“Done,” Tony calls out, and sure enough Bucky tenses before Tony can hear the footsteps. The hatch in the door opens and the guard from before orders him to put the gun and parts in the box and shove it over. Once Tony has complied, the guard closes the hatch and they wait in tense silence.

Bucky pulls Tony behind him again, right before the door opens and two guards enter to aim their rifles at Tony.

“Where is the rest?” One of them demands, and cold fear takes hold of Tony. He reaches for his pocket, but Bucky takes hold of his hand.

“I told him to do it,” the older boy says defiantly, but Tony can feel his hand shaking on his forearm.

“I don’t care if the president told him; give me the missing pieces,” the first guard barks and steps closer. Tony dives his hands in his pockets and holds out the metal parts while he lowers his head in fear.

“Slide them over,” the guard orders, and Tony quickly puts the parts on the floor and gives them a shove. One stops against the guards boot, but the other halts a little way away.

“Closer,” the guard all but yells, making Tony cringe and Bucky jump up to give the second part the final push. It puts him close enough for the guard to kick him backwards, hissing “nosy brat,” under his breath.

It’s Tony’s turn to pull Bucky back as the guard picks up the pieces and they both leave, closing the door with a loud clang.

“Are you okay?” Tony asks, feeling horribly guilty. If he hadn’t stolen those parts none of this would’ve happened.

“Yeah, he only hit the metal,” Bucky tries to reassure him, but Tony notices his grimace as he rubs over the spot where the boot hit him.

“I’m so sorry,” Tony says miserably, crouching into his corner. He’s sure he lost his only friend in this harsh place and he has to fight to keep his tears down. 

“Hey, c’mere, you punk.” Bucky sits next to him and covers them both with one of the blankets. “It ain’t your fault they’re assholes.”

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Tony sobs. “I don’t know them, I swear!” It’s important to him that Bucky believes him.

“Shh, don’t get yourself all worked up. We’ll figure it out.”

“I didn’t mean for you to get hurt,” Tony whispers, rubbing furiously at his eyes. 

“Ssh, it’s okay. This ain’t nothing. Shoulda seen my hide after I swiped some Gummi Bears for my sisters.” 

“My dad hits me when he’s drunk,” he confides softly. It feels safe to tell Bucky, sitting huddled together in the semi dark like this. 

“My friend Stevie’s dad was the same. It ain’t right to treat your kid like that. I’ll protect you. Stevie and I both will, when we get out.” Bucky sounds so confident. Tony wishes he could feel like that. He doesn’t know who Stevie is, but Tony believes Bucky will try his best, and it makes him feel a tiny bit lighter.

Despite the hunger, some time later Tony falls asleep.

*****

Bucky wakes him up after what seems like only five minutes of sleep and Tony tries to bury his face in the blanket.

“Tony,” Bucky hisses. “Something’s up.”

The urgency in Bucky’s voice is enough for Tony to wake up, and he sits up with a start. When he strains his ears he hears it too: gunfire.

With eyes large with fear he looks at Bucky. “What do we do?” 

Bucky shrugs and pulls the blanket to their chins, hugging Tony tight to his side. “Don’t see we can do much more than wait,” he whispers, and they both watch the door in tense silence.

The sound of gunfire comes closer and closer, and sometimes the whole building rocks when an explosion goes off. Tony clings to Bucky every time it happens, scared that at any moment the door will open and the guards will arrive to take them away.

Suddenly the loudest explosion yet goes off, making the whole building shake with the force of it, and the little light overhead flickers and dies.

“Bucky,” Tony whispers when nothing further happens, “the door…”

The room is pitch black now, except for the faint glow of the reactor under his shirt, and he almost yells when he feels Bucky take his hand in the dark to pull him up.

“Shh, let’s go,” Bucky urgently whispers, and together they shuffle to the door, which opens without a squeak. The hallway outside is bathed in a garish green emergency light, but is thankfully deserted.

They look at each other for a second before Tony indicates the left. They took him to the right for testing, and he hadn’t seen any elevators or anything that way. They take off at a trot and quickly come upon a staircase.

Up, up, up they go. When Tony stumbles Bucky heaves him onto his feet, and Tony realizes Bucky didn’t exaggerate when he said the arm is crazy strong. Adrenaline floods them, as they ascend the stairs, every step bringing them closer to freedom.

All of a sudden the door to another level opens into Tony’s face and out comes a guard. 

“It’s you!” the man yells and lunges for Bucky, punching him in the back before Bucky could turn around. He yells and falls, and the man picks him up from behind with one arm around his neck. Bucky struggles, but the man is strong and wearing armour.

“Where’s Stark?” the man growls, pulling his arm tighter around Bucky’s neck.

This is all his fault. Tony  _ has _ to do something to save Bucky. He jumps forward and bites the guard in the exposed skin above his boot, where the pants have crawled up in the struggle. 

The man yells and loosens his hold on Bucky in his surprise, enough for Bucky to twist in his grip and punch the man on his nose with the metal fist. Blood spurts everywhere, and the man lets go of Bucky to clutch at his broken nose.

“Run!” Bucky yells at Tony as he punches the man in the gut which makes him fall down the stairs. 

Tony sprints past him and up the stairs as fast as he can, closely followed by Bucky.

Another door opens, and they both yell in surprise, but out of the corridor jumps a man straight from Tony’s comic books. Decked out in red, white and blue, complete with shield and winged mask: Captain America.

“Tony, Bucky! This way!” The captain yells, and Tony wonders how Cap knows his name before fearing Howard is here as well. 

Bucky pulls Tony close to his side as he watches the Captain warily, pushing them with their backs to the wall. Suddenly the Captain throws his shield which flies straight past them and into the guard that attacked them, ricocheting off the wall back into the Captain’s waiting hand.

“Quick! Hulk is loose and I fear for the building.” The Captain motions for them to come as he holds open the door with his back.

Tony looks at Bucky and holds out his hand. If there's anyone you should be able to trust it’s Captain America, Aunt Peggy told him herself, and his aunt never lied to him.

Bucky takes Tony's hand hesitantly, just as the building rocks again and dust comes down from the ceiling. 

Tony uses the moment to pull Bucky upwards to where the Captain is waiting for them, who scoops them both up and runs with them to safety.


	3. The tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are taken to safety.

Steve exhales in relief when Tony runs towards him, bringing Bucky along. He's glad for the cowl that hid his shock when he recognized the kids in the stairwell as his friends. Without wasting any more time he picks one up under each arm and runs as fast as he can back through the corridor he came from. Bucky struggles in his hold, but luckily a tiny super soldier is no match to a full grown one, and Tony just hangs limp against Steve’s side.

With cover fire from both Widow and Hawkeye, Steve storms out of the building and sprints across the courtyard to where the quinjet is waiting. He gently lowers the kids to the ground as the others come sprinting back in. The boys immediately huddle together against the wall, eyeing them with suspicion, and Steve notices Bucky has subtly put himself between Tony and the rest of them. 

Nat takes up her pilot’s seat and the quinjet jerks off the ground, followed by another explosion that rocks the aircraft side to side. Steve falls to his knees to hold onto the kids as another explosion goes off and he manages to keep them from banging into the quinjet wall. They’re gaining enough height so the next explosion doesn’t have a big impact, but just as Steve wants to let the kids go War Machine comes flying in with an unconscious Bruce in his arms, making little Tony cringe in fright.

Finally, the hatch closes and they’re off, and Steve sits back once they’ve stopped accelerating. It’s clear his teammates need some space, though he wishes he knew what else they needed. 

“Are you hurt?” He asks them, but gets no answer. Bucky just stares balefully at him, and Tony hides his face against Bucky’s shoulder. 

Steve pulls off his cowl and runs a hand through his dirty hair. "Do you know who I am?" 

Bucky shakes his head, but Tony whispers something in his ear. 

"Captain America?" Bucky says doubtfully and Steve nods. 

"You know me as Steve Rogers, though," he tries, hoping to spark something of recognition, but Bucky looks ready to murder him. 

"Liar!" The boy yells. "I don't know you. And you stay away from Stevie, you hear!" 

Bucky raises himself as if he wants to punch Steve right there, but a whimper from Tony makes him settle down again and wrap his arm around the tiny boy. 

Steve sighs. He’s relieved they got the kids out, but it feels like they went out of the pan and into the fire. There’s no telling who these kids are. They might be their teammates, but what the heck did AIM do to them? And then there’s all the exotic options of life model decoys or kids from a different universe or shapeshifters for all they know. 

He stands and sits down on a bench opposite the kids. Far enough to not crowd them, but close enough to intervene if anything happens.

Behind him, Jim steps out of the armour after putting Bruce down on the ready made stretcher and crouches near the kids. Tony makes an effort to look even smaller, while Bucky sits up straighter.

“You're alright?" Jim asks them with as much success as Steve. If anything, the kids move further back against the wall. 

Jim sits down next to Steve, regarding the kids thoughtfully, no doubt having the same train of thoughts as Steve just before. 

"Where are you takin' us," Bucky suddenly asks, and Tony peeks from behind Bucky's shoulder. Steve probably shouldn't find it as endearing as he does, but Bucky is just like he was when he took care of Steve and little Tony couldn't look more adorable if he tried. He shouldn't think of them as Bucky and Tony until they confirm who the kids really are, but Steve can't shake the belief this is the case. 

"Stark Tower," Jim answers, which makes Tony cringe and whisper something in Bucky's ear. Bucky turns to listen and responds by hugging Tony closer and glaring daggers at Steve and Jim. 

"How old are you? We probably need to buy you some stuff," Jim continues, like Bucky doesn't try to kill him with the force of his glare alone. 

"Eight," Bucky answers with his chin held high, and the sight transports Steve straight back to the 1920s where Bucky and him found themselves in countless situations Bucky looked just like that. Usually after Steve had taken on something bigger than he could chew.

Jim shoots him a questioning glance and Steve shrugs. They used to be malnourished and small for their age, compared to the kids nowadays.

“And the little dude behind you?” 

“He’s four.” 

More whispering from Tony and nodding from Bucky. “Are you working for his dad?” Bucky asks, looking between Steve and Jim. Steve can just make out Tony watching him from behind Bucky’s shoulder, but as soon as the kid notices him looking he disappears again.

Steve has no clue what to answer to that. "In a way," he hedges and gets up to pull over one of the emergency boxes. “Did they feed you?” He asks and roots around the box until he finds a candybar, which he holds out to Bucky. The boy watches him wearily, but then snatches it lightning quick from Steve’s hand. He carefully peels open the package, sniffs it, then breaks it in two and gives the larger piece to Tony.

“Here.” Steve throws Bucky two others and watches the kids eat until they arrive at the tower.

  
  
  


Tony is grateful to Bucky for talking to the grownups. He  _ knows _ he shouldn’t be afraid of Captain America, because he’s a hero and his dad and Auntie Peggs love him, but things don’t add up, and not understanding what’s going on makes him so afraid he can’t talk.

The flight isn’t long and before he knows it, they’ve landed. He couldn’t look out of the window while they flew, so he has no way of knowing what is waiting for them. He has no clue what this Stark Tower is, but he bets it’s to do with his dad. Just as the Captain suddenly appearing. Was Tony imprisoned for so long that his dad found the Captain and bought a tower? 

When the hatch opens the Captain asks them to come along, with the other man standing to the side next to what appears to be a robot. Tony wants to take a look, but he’s afraid they’ll hit him for dawdling and he hurries past them with Bucky’s hand firmly around his. 

They landed in some sort of hangar and Tony tries to look every way at once, looking for something or someone familiar.

“We’re taking the elevator to the med bay, boys,” the Captain tells them. “We need to examine you and see what happened to you.”

Unconsciously, Tony rubs the thing in his chest. He’s not sure he wants to find out what happened. 

“It’ll be okay,” Bucky whispers in his ear as they near the elevator, and Tony nods gratefully.

  
  
  
  


Being examined is as horrible as it sounds, and the only thing that keeps Tony from breaking down and crying is Bucky’s steady presence. He keeps close to Tony’s side at all times when the doctor looks him over, and allows Tony to stay close when he is examined himself. The doctor is patient and gentle, but this can’t dispel the overwhelming sense of wrongness. Tony doesn’t recognize any of the equipment the doctor and nurse use, and he doesn’t understand why Jarvis isn’t there to comfort him. Instead the Captain looms in the corner of the room, staying out of the doctor’s way. 

Tony tries to let the doctor do her job, keeping a brave face when she takes blood and examines his reflexes, but he clutches his chest when she insists on taking off his shirt. Bucky jumps in between them to tell the doctor off, but then something happens Tony didn’t think any grown up apart from Jarvis would do for him. 

“Leave him alone,” the Captain calls at the doctor as he walks over and stands next to Tony. “We’re not here to traumatize them further.” 

Tony looks up to see the doctor scowl at the Captain, but the huge man crosses his arms in front of his chest and glares right back, and finally the doctor nods and does something on that plastic thing Tony saw a lot of the staff use.

The Captain crouches down and Tony doesn’t feel the same urge to hide from him anymore as he did before, looking at him shyly instead.

The Captain asks, “You fellas ready to go?” 

At that moment the door opens and a disheveled looking man walks in. “Steve! I came as soon as I woke up.” 

When the man’s eyes settle on Tony and Bucky he visibly startles, and it makes Tony cringe and hold onto Bucky again.

The Captain obviously notices and turns back to them. “That’s Bruce, he’s one of the people that helped get you out. The Iron Patriot brought him back onto the quinjet, remember?”   
  
Tony has no clue what the Captain is talking about, though the name Iron Patriot sparks something in his mind which he can’t catch. 

When neither of them reacts, the Captain stands and holds out his hands. “Come on, let’s see if we can get you some proper food while Bruce here makes sense of what happened, okay?”   
  
Tony looks at the man named Bruce, who smiles at him and even waves, but he doesn’t feel comfortable enough to wave back. He’s not sure how a man like him helped them escape, but Tony’s used to grown ups lying to him. so he doesn’t spare it much thought.

He stands on his tiptoes so he can reach Bucky’s ear and holds onto his friend’s shoulder. “I’m hungry,” he whispers in Bucky’s ear, feeling relieved when Bucky nods in response.

Bucky takes his hand. “We are hungry,” he states, primly refusing the Captain’s outstretched hand, who nods and straightens.

“Let me know when you find anything,” the Captain tells Bruce and holds open the door for them.

They quietly travel back with the elevator and Tony wonders how the elevator knows where they’re supposed to go since there aren’t any buttons.

The elevator opens onto a huge living area, looking like it came from a sci fi novel with all the glass and metal. One glass wall looms over the space, like a shiny cube was built within the living area. Tony wants to stay and look, but the Captain motions for them to follow him. When they cross the living space, they come into a corridor which leads to a kitchen and dining area. Tony likes it more since it reminds him of Jarvis’ kitchen. 

Thinking about Jarvis hurts so much that his eyes start to water, and he quickly wipes them with his shirt, but Bucky notices anyway and lets go of Tony’s hand to put an arm over his shoulder. Tony sniffles despite himself and the Captain halts and turns around to crouch near him.

“Hey, big guy, wanna tell me what’s up?” The Captain looks worried, and it’s another thing Tony’s not used to. Grown ups either look annoyed at him or ignore him. Except for Jarvis.

Another sob escapes him and Tony desperately wants someone to hug him. “Whe- here is Jar-vis?” he hiccups, wiping at his eyes as he looks at the Captain miserably.

The Captain’s face falls, and Tony  _ knows _ something is up, when all of a sudden Jarvis’ voice comes from the ceiling.

“I’m here, young sir.” 

A gush of relief rushes through Tony. If Jarvis is here then everything will work out.

“Where are you? I can’t see you.” Tony looks around, but there’s no sign of Jarvis anywhere.

“I’m… far away at the moment, but we can talk and I can see you. Look up, Tony.”

Tony obliges and notices a red blinking dot. He points at it. “Is that a camera?”

“It is, young sir, and I can hear you too. If you need anything, just call for me and I’ll see what I can do to help you.”

Tony nods and wipes the snot that tickles his nose on his sleeve. “I don’t know what’s happening, Jarvis,” he says softly. He only slightly startles when the Captain puts his large hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“We don’t either, but I’m sure the team is doing everything in their power to find out,” Jarvis reassures him, sounding very certain.

“Okay,” Tony nods again and smiles at the camera on the ceiling. 

“Jarvis was a great help to me when I just woke up from the ice,” the Captain smiles, first at the camera and then at Tony.

“It was my pleasure, Captain,” Jarvis answers warmly.

Knowing Jarvis likes the Captain helps a lot to trust the large man, and Tony hesitantly reaches out his hand to take the Captain’s. Bucky stayed silent during the exchange, but now he pulls Tony closer to his side protectively.

“You can trust Jarvis, Bucky,” Tony tries to reassure his new friend. “He takes care of me and is the best at reading stories!” 

Bucky still looks doubtful, but he nods, and it gives Tony a feeling he can’t quite put words to to have someone trust him like that.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bucky,” Jarvis’ voice sounds warm and Tony beams at Bucky. It’s the first time Tony made a friend and he really wants Bucky and Jarvis to get along.

Bucky frowns at the little red dot, but then waves at it as well, and it’s good enough for Tony.

“May I suggest eating something, young sir? I believe there’s some leftover lasagna in the fridge.”

Excited, Tony pulls on both the Captain’s and Bucky’s hands. “C’mon, let’s eat!”


	4. Raise your hand if you hate magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys learn the truth about what's going on and Jarvis saves the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive feedback I'm getting on this fic, and I want to thank you all for leaving your kudos and comments! They brighten my Wednesdays considerably!

“The good news is, it’s them,” Bruce says tiredly, his fingers twisting his glasses this way and that in a nervous pattern. 

A collective sigh goes up from the group. This is a huge relief. Steve noticed the others keeping their distance from the kids as they waited for Bruce’s results to come in, maybe scared to get attached to kids that had to get sent back to their own... wherever they came from.

“The bad news is, we have no idea what AIM has done to them, and until we do there’s no way to change them back,” Bruce plows on. Dead silence meets this statement and Steve turns to look at the video feed of the kids, their  _ teammates, _ building something from Legos. Actually, Tony is building and Bucky is giving him the parts he needs. Tony doesn’t have a memory of Star Wars yet, but he has no trouble building a huge replica of the Millennium Falcon.

Steve turns back to nod at Bruce and turn to Nat. “Any news on your front?”   
  
“Coulson and Sam are sweeping the site, but haven’t found any clues yet. Thor is not responding and Strange isn;t due to be back for two weeks. Jarvis and I are combing through all available video images,” Nat intones. Steve knows she hates being kept idle like this, but he didn’t dare send her out with Coulson. If whoever was behind the kidnapping made another move, he needed at least part of the team with the kids. 

“Helen should be arriving here tomorrow afternoon,” Bruce takes over, putting his glasses back on his nose. Steve nods again. He feels as useless as Nat, but he has to keep up a brave face.

“Anyone has a suggestion if and how we should tell Tony and Bucky this news?” Steve looks around at his teammates, all looking worried.

“Plain honesty is my bet,” Clint shrugs. “Don’t think either one of ‘em got dumber when they shrunk.”

Jim sighs and nods, followed by nods from the others. It’s true. Tony and Bucky are two of the most observant people Steve knows, and he didn’t much like the idea of lying to them anyway.

“Jarvis, Clint, I want another full perimeter sweep. Bruce, Nat, keep up your work. Jim, meet me in the kids’ room in ten. Team dismissed.”

Everyone troops out of the conference room in silence and Steve slumps against the table for a second. It’s good news that they got the right hostages out, but there still is so much unclear, and thus unsafe, for his tiny teammates, his friends. He has already tried to talk to them about their stay at the AIM facility, but it was like pulling teeth, and he quickly relented. 

He turns to look at the feed again and notices how much more at ease both boys are without any of the others around. A stab of anger shoots through him, white hot and searing. Whoever did this to them  _ will _ pay.

Taking a calming breath, Steve steels himself and sets out to see if his friends are in for a treat.

  
  
  
  


Tony doesn't know what to make of the inhabitants of the tower. They look at Bucky and him with trepidation, as if  _ they  _ are the ones to be feared, which doesn't make any sense at all. Only the Captain - who wants them to call him Steve, but Tony would never dare call him just that and Bucky is still mad at him for pretending to be his Stevie - seems to make an effort to get to know them. Him and Clint. Tony likes Clint. Clint doesn’t act like a grown up at all. 

He smiles gratefully at Bucky when he hands him another part so Tony canfit it neatly in its place. He never ever saw Legos like this, but he loves it to pieces. He grins at his joke and shares it with Bucky, who chuckles and ruffles Tony’s hair in response. 

“Captain Rogers is on his way, Tony,” Jarvis warns them from wherever he is hiding. Tony doesn't understand why Jarvis can’t just come to them, but he's grateful his guardian his here in some form. He also doesn't understand why Howard hasn't made an appearance yet, and waiting for the inevitable scolding keeps him from relaxing as he plays. He hopes the Captain will protect him from more than scolding, at least for now, but there will always come the moment he has to go home. 

"Thank you, Jarvis," Bucky says without looking up from digging around for the next piece. 

"Colonel Rhodes is joining him," Jarvis adds after a short pause, and it's enough for Tony to be filled with a mixture of scared nerves and anticipation. The colonel's robot fascinates him no end, but the grim looking man scares him. Howard's military associates never have anything but a snarl for him. The colonel's appearance can't mean anything good. 

Tony puts the Falcon down and sits back in his chair to await the arrival of the men, but Bucky keeps on rummaging through the bowl of black and grey pieces, even when the men arrive. Tony admires Bucky's bravery, but he wishes he would sit up straight so Tony could hide behind him. 

"Hey fellas, I brought you a snack," the Captain greets them and Bucky finally looks up. Whatever they did to Bucky's memory was worse than Tony's because his friend recognizes even less of all the things in the tower than Tony does, but there's no mistaking cake with jelly and whipped cream and Bucky's face lights up. 

The table they’re working on is large enough to house all the building blocks and the tray with goods, and the Captain puts it down carefully. “Come on, I remember ya riskin’ a beatin’ just for a taste of ol’ missus Byrne’s cake,” he tells Bucky who looks at him with wide eyes.

Tony doesn’t understand why the Captain suddenly sounds like a cabby, but Bucky pushes away from the table and pulls Tony with him.

“You’re in with them!” Bucky yells. “You messed with my head to make me forget and you’ve stolen my memories!” He pulls Tony with him all the way to the wall at the far end of the room, and Tony trusts Bucky enough to follow him without resisting. 

The Captain is looking at them with sad eyes, and even the other man, Colonel Rhodes looks sad. They are also blocking the only exit to the room, and Tony feels fear take hold of him again, with Bucky trembling beside him.

“I’m sorry, Bucky, I didna mean ta scare ya.”   
  
The Captain looks tired and truly remorseful, and either he’s a fantastic actor or something else is going on, something Tony doesn’t understand yet. 

“Four days ago we were in a battle with AIM. They call themselves a scientific organization, but they’re really just in it for the fame and world domination. They fired something at you two that made you… de-age, and took you.” The Captain wipes a hand over his face and smiles a tired smile at them.

“Somehow shrinking you also made you lose your memories of being bigger, but we don’t understand what has happened yet.”

“Liar!” Bucky yells, pulling Tony behind himself like he does whenever he thinks someone might come for them. Tony feels Bucky trembling and it makes him nervous as well. Bucky is the toughest person he knows, if Bucky is cared then what can Tony do? 

“Young sir, if I may. How do we solve a scientific problem?” Jarvis pipes up, and Tony looks at the ceiling on instinct, even if he knows Jarvis is actually somewhere else.

“We form a hypothesis and look for facts that challenge it,” Tony intones dutifully, the memory of Jarvis patiently teaching him this principle - playing float or sink in the kitchen - a brief respite of his fear. 

“That’s right. What would your hypothesis be?”

“That the Captain is wrong. People don’t shrink, so that’s easily falsifiable,” Tony answers confidently. Bucky is still glaring at the Captain, his whole body strung tight like a bowstring, and Tony has no doubt that if the man makes a wrong move Bucky will jump into action.

“Alright, what are your facts?” Jarvis continues, as patient as ever.

“We woke up in a cell,” Tony starts, thinking hard about all his observations. “I didn’t remember getting there. We wore clothes that were too large. We were experimented on.” His hand comes up to touch the device in his chest unconsciously and he grabs hold of Bucky’s hand with the other to be able to continue. “There was a man who said he knew me and who made me do tests,” he goes on with a slight hitch in his voice, but stops when the Captain straightens and frowns at him.

“A man, Tones?” The Colonel suddenly asks, using that nickname again Tony doesn’t know. He forgot all about him as he talked with Jarvis, otherwise he would never have said as much.

He gives a tiny nod and pushes farther behind Bucky, who holds his arm in front of Tony protectively. 

"He was a wacko, but at least he didn't lie," Bucky growls at the Captain, and Tony almost feels sorry for the man when he seems to shrink at the words. 

"Tony," Jarvis interjects before the Captain can say anything, "do you have more facts that are important?"

Tony clings to Bucky as he thinks. “The man said they shrunk my head,” he whispers. 

“Very good, young sir,” Jarvis praises him. “So you woke up in a cell with no recollection of how you got there, in clothes that didn’t fit, with a miniature arc reactor, and there was a man who both claimed to know you and that they shrunk your head?”

Tony nods and peeks a look from behind Bucky at the Captain and the Colonel. They both have that expectant look on their face that Howard’s associates have when his father shows off his knowledge. 

“Do these facts confirm or falsify your initial hypothesis?” Jarvis’ voice is gentle, but no less expectant. 

“Confirm,” Tony says, even softer than before - There are just too many facts that add up to deny it - but Bucky shakes his head vehemently.   
  
“That can’t be. People don’t just shrink!” 

“Usually they don’t, young Master Barnes, but can you think of a better reason for the way your environment looks? The year is 2015."

Bucky shakes his head more vehemently. "That's ridiculous," he all but yells, but he doesn't sound as sure as he did before. 

2015 

That means Tony would've been 45; and Bucky… if he's really Bucky Barnes then he would've been 98. And Howard and Jarvis even older than that. 

"Jarvis, are you dead?" Tony asks with a small voice, feeling his throat close in sadness. 

The silence before Jarvis speaks again is telling, and Tony pushes his face against the fabric of Bucky's sweater to hide the tears that form in his eyes.

“Human Jarvis died, but you, as a brilliant young man of twenty one, built me in his remembrance, and I’ve been your guardian and  _ friend _ for the last twenty four years.” Jarvis sounds fond and a little sad as well. It’s what settles it for Tony.

He pulls at Bucky’s sleeve so his friend will look at him. "Captain America's real name is Steven Grant Rogers,” Tony whispers at him, “his best friend is called James Buchanan Barnes. They both join the army but fall to their deaths. Howard’s been looking for the Captain ever since he fell with his plane in the Atlantic, and I guess he found both of you.” Tony offers Bucky a small smile, and misses the pained look that crosses the Captain’s face.

“You’re lyin’,” Bucky protests weakly, and it's almost as if he's pleading Tony to tell him it's a joke. 

Tony shakes his head. "I'm sorry," he says and wraps his arms around Bucky in a bear hug to offer him comfort. 

"So ev'ryone I know is dead," Bucky whispers and slumps against Tony. He can barely hold the older boy's weight but he tries. He needs the comfort just as much as Bucky. 

"We make new friends," the Captain says softly. "They're our new family."

Tony doesn't know what to make of that. He doesn't much like his real family, but he loves Jarvis with his whole being, so maybe a found family is not that bad. 

"I'll stay with you," he promises Bucky and squeezes him tighter. 

"Me too, pal," Bucky answers. 


	5. A team, a family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys bond with the team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big, big thank you to [Betheflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betheflame/) for cheering and betaing!
> 
> This chapter is pure, self indulging fluff. Hope you enjoy!

"When Margaret grows up she will have a daughter, who is to be Peter's mother in turn; and thus it will go on, so long as children are gay and innocent and heartless.” "Goodnight, Wendy." "There could not have been a lovelier sight; but there was none to see it except a little boy who was staring in at the window."

Tony sighs and snuggles closer to Captain Steve as he closes the book. Tony wishes the Captain would stay. Bucky is warm against his back, but it's their third night in the tower and yesterday and the night before had been really scary. He had been constantly reminded of the arc reactor which had shone bright in the dark, and when he finally fell asleep, his sleep was wrought with nightmares. 

_ An invading army for as far as the eye could see. Flying whales that brought destruction upon his home, countless of monsters dropping out of the sky, and there was nothing he could do about because he was paralyzed. _

_ The man from AIM sneered at him but his face morphed into Obie's. _

He woke up screaming and crying to Jarvis' voice recounting the date and weather and the stocks of all things. 

Bucky hurried in, but Tony had hid his face in shame until his friend told him he had been plagued by nightmares as well. Captain Steve had found them huddled together not long after and stayed till morning. 

Captain Steve feels safe like no grown-up - except for Jarvis - ever felt. 

"I wish I could fly like Peter Pan," Tony confides softly. It's one of his favourite books; the notion to be able to just… fly out of the mansion to a world where you are allowed to play immensely attractive to a boy without toys. 

Captain Steve chuckles. "You will, big guy. Remember the suit Jim, Colonel Rhodey, came flying onto the aircraft with?"

Tony gives a tiny nod in answer and feels Bucky stir in interest. 

"You built that. You have one yourself as well, gorgeous red and gold. We can go and take a look at them tomorrow if you want?" Captain Steve pulls Tony a little tighter against his chest and Tony nods. He'd love to see those up close. 

"Did Tony build my arm as well?" Bucky asks, sounding curious. He's warming up to Captain Steve, even if he still has a hard time believing the giant of a man is the same as his friend Stevie. 

The Captain hesitates before he answers, but Tony is too sleepy to make something of it. 

"Yeah, he did. I don't think there's anything he can't build."

The compliment flows over Tony like a warm blanket, and he buries his face against Captain Steve's chest to hide his blush. 

"It's awesome," Bucky agrees and Tony hears the faint whirring of the plates opening and closing. 

"Okay, time to go to sleep, tater tots." Captain Steve presses a kiss to Tony's head and it makes him feel as warm as the compliment did. 

"C'mon, I'll tuck you in as well, Bucky." The Captain reaches over Tony to offer a hand to Bucky, but Tony feels Bucky burrow deeper under the blanket. 

"I'm stayin' here," he mutters and Tony looks up at the Captain. 

"Please?" He asks, not really thinking the Captain will agree - men don't sleep together after all - but the Captain's face softens and he nods. 

"Sure. Bucky and I used to shack up all the time when I was feeling sick."

Captain Steve climbs out of bed and rearranges the sheets so Tony and Bucky are both covered, and leans over them to press a kiss to both their cheeks.

"Sleep tight, fellas."

“Night Captain, night Jarvis.”

“Good night, young sir.”

\---

"I want the cream now!" Bucky yells. 

"Single or double? Choose carefully, young grasshopper," Rhodey grins. There are blotches of ketchup and soap on the Colonel's face. 

Tony watches excitedly as Bucky dips his fingers first in the single and then into the double cream, rubbing them thoughtfully. 

"Double," he declares before licking his fingers. 

"Double it is," Rhodey laughs and upends the tub onto the track. 

"Here I come!"

Bucky takes a sprint and propels himself onto his belly onto the sliding slope, whooping as he slides, and only coming to a halt at a whopping 44 feet. 

"That's the best yet!" Tony yells, jumping up and down in excitement. 

"Bots, if you please," Rhodey says with an expansive arm gesture and Dum-E and U come trundling forward to spray the slide clean as he makes a note on the whiteboard.

Tony hops from foot to foot. This is the best science ever, hands down. 

"My turn!"

\---

  


"I bet you can't hit _ that _ target over there," Clint says to Bucky with a glint in his eye. Tony likes Clint a lot, because he doesn't act like a grown-up at all and let's them get away with eating sweets only. 

Tony grins when Bucky doesn't even look and still throws the ball dead in the centre of the bull's eye. 

"Lucky shot," Clint grins and ruffles Bucky's hair. 

"It wasn't and you know it," Bucky answers without any heat, grinning himself. "Bet _ you _ can't hit that target _ via _ the wall first."

"Willing to put some jelly beans where your mouth is?" Clint asks and points at the pile of candy Bucky has amassed. He keeps pushing some over to Tony to snack on and it's still growing, with Clint's pile ever dwindling. 

Bucky pretends to ponder for a second and then counts out twenty jelly beans. 

"Ha. Your loss, Buckster." Clint makes the shot with ease, whooping and waving in triumph like an Olympic athlete winning gold.

"I love jelly bea-heans, I love jelly bea-heans," Clint singsongs, dancing the conga, and Tony and Bucky quickly join in.

\---

"When I dream it's of being big," Bucky whispers when they're in bed one night. Jarvis displays a soft night light in the shape of Cap's shield in the corner so Tony can just make out Bucky's profile. "And it's always scary."

Tony nods quietly. Having Bucky next to him helps a lot, and covering the arc reactor with fake skin too, but still he has nightmares almost every night. "I like being small here," he confides, "but back in the mansion I always wanted to be big."

If he had been big Howard would've left him alone and maybe he could've helped his mom as well. 

"Stevie was the same. Always itching to be bigger. Guess he got his wish in the end, huh."

Tony nods in the dark. He doesn't know anyone who's bigger than Captain Steve. 

They're silent, and Tony feels safer here in the tower with his best friend than he ever has. Even when Jarvis hugged him, there was always the possibility Howard would call either of them to him. Here, no one has made any demand of him in almost two weeks, other than brushing his teeth or eating his veggies. 

When Tony is drifting in that nice place between being awake and sleeping, Bucky whispers again. 

"Do you really believe Captain Steve is the same as my Stevie?"

Tony thinks about it for a moment and then nods again. "Yeah. I believe him."

"... Okay."

\---

  


"Shrimps. Important question," Clint tells them as they're sitting at the breakfast table. 

Tony is kicking his legs where he munches on a blueberry pancake, his third, and looks up.

"_ Clint," _ Captain Steve says in warning from the stove. He doesn't like it when people call them names, which makes him even more awesome in Tony's eyes. 

"Sooorry," Clint says, sounding like a baby while rolling his eyes, and both Bucky and Tony giggle behind their hands. They know Clint isn't being mean. 

"So. _ Dear tiny teammates, _ tonight is movie night and we need to pick one to watch." Clint throws up a grape and catches it with his mouth, but when Bucky moves to do the same miss Natasha stops him with just one hand on his shoulder. 

Miss Natasha scares Tony a bit, and Bucky as well. 

"Wizard of Oz," Bucky says with a glare at Natasha, who looks back unimpressed. Tony really admires Bucky's courage and hopes he'll be a bit like his best friend when he grows up. Captain Steve certainly thinks so. 

That notion is enough for him to dare to speak up. "I really like _ The Sting,” _ he offers softly. Howard would've scolded him for talking too soft, but both Clint and miss Natasha smile at him.

"Both are very good contenders, I must say," Clint says thoughtfully, running his fingers over the scruff on his chin before he suddenly leans forward. "But what about…" Clint pauses for dramatic effect making Tony giggle and kick his legs harder in delight, "magic and sorcerers and a school especially for those gifted in the arts?"

"Isn't Tony a little too young for _ Harry Potter _?" Captain Steve asks, earning him the next glare from Bucky.

"Says the fella who snuck into Nosferatu at age six," Bucky tells him, looking just as unimpressed as Miss Natasha had a moment ago. 

"Fair enough," Captain Steve grins. "You can sit with me, okay?" He turns and asks Tony, and all Tony can do is blush in his pancakes. 

\---

"Can Dum-E sleep with us tonight, Captain Steve?"

"Sure thing, buddy."

\---

  


"Tony, Bucky, your presence is required in the kitchen. 

They're building another huge thing out of Legos, a replica of Hogwarts. After Bucky declared _ Harry Potter _ his new favourite movie of all times it suddenly appeared in their game room. Steve suspects Jarvis is taking some liberties in taking care of tiny Sir, but he will be the last to complain about it. 

Steve is terrible at Legos with his giant hands, but he loves to play with the boys, and he is good at finding the right pieces for them. He even managed to get Bucky to start on his own part instead of watching Tony. Steve now realizes how much Bucky used to put aside for Steve's sake, and he's glad he can make it up to him in this small way. 

At Jarvis' announcement, he grins and puts the bowl of pieces he's rummaging through down. 

Bucky squints at him but Tony looks excited. The little fella has been flowering under the team's attention, going from virtually mute to an enthusiastic and adorable version of his adult self. 

“Go on, I’m sure you don’t want to keep them waiting,” Steve gently tells the boys, and watches them go, chattering excitedly. 

Natasha will make Khvorost with them and Steve is sure they'll have a good time. 

Steve puts the pieces that are strewn about into their respective containers, and sighs. Almost three weeks and they're still no closer to a cure, maybe even farther away. They managed to find Hammer, easily identifiable after Tony's description. The blabbering fool had no clue however how they managed the 'shrink ray' - Steve had nearly punched the clown when he made honest to God air quotes like some bad Bond villain wannabe - and the bombs and Hulk had made a thorough job of destroying anything even remotely useful in the factory.

Bruce is still trying, bless him, but there's almost certainly magic involved and there's little the scientist can do. It doesn't help that their brightest mind is affected. Steve has no doubt Bruce and Tony could've figured this thing out together. 

Steve sighs again. He adores his little teammates. Looking at Bucky interacting with Tony is a trip through memory lane, and small Tony might be the most loveable creature on the planet. (It's amazing how much the little fella had changed from the first days, going from a timid and scared little tyke to an inquisitive and at times even boisterous kindergartener. If there ever was a chance to send a message back in time Steve has some choice words for Howard.)

Still, Steve misses his friends. He misses Tony's zombie shuffle in the mornings, misses his inappropriate jokes and too-fast-to-follow science talk. He misses Bucky's companionship during their morning runs, or in the middle of the night after waking up from the umpteenth nightmare. 

He misses other things as well, but he's not ready to put words to those feelings yet, not when there's a chance he'll stay his friends' guardian instead of something… more. 

He hopes Strange will have the solution they all crave. 

\---

"No way," Bucky exclaims. 

"Way," Bruce answers, and Tony pushes his hand against his mouth for fear of spoiling the surprise. He watched Howard toy around with liquid nitrogen before so he knows how powerful it is. He can't help a giggle from escaping and Bucky turns his head to smile at him. 

"Okay. Show me," he declares, and Bruce is grinning as well now. 

When the scientist emerged from his lab, looking worn and wrung out, Captain Steve ordered him to spend some time with Tony and Bucky. Which has led to a string of brilliant experiments. Tony's favourite is the baking soda volcano which exploded in an amazing fountain of colour - Sam said they should add food colouring - of no less than six feet high. 

Tony watches in glee as Bruce pulls on shoulder length gloves and walks with the banana to a canister in the corner of his lab. 

"Okay, lab safety protocol, gentlemen," he warns and waits for Tony and Bucky to flip on their safety goggles.

When he opens the canister he's temporarily obscured from view by a white mist, but Tony hears the canister close again and then Bruce comes back to them with the banana. 

"You have to be quick," he warns Bucky as he gives him the banana in his gloved hand - Tony briefly wonders if old him has thought about heat-proofing the arm. Bucky takes the banana and hammers the nail into the wooden board with three deft strokes. 

"Wow," he grins up at Bruce and then at Tony. 

"Cool huh?" Tony gushes, "I knew this one," he adds proudly which earns him a pat on the head from Bruce. 

"Who wants to built a lamp powered by vegetables?" The scientist grins. 

"Me, me!" Tony and Bucky both yell. 

\---

Steve watches the three scientists at work from a chair in the corner of the lab and adds a few lines to his drawing. He has filled two entire sketchbooks with drawings of the kids. There's too much life and spirit in them to _ not _ draw them at every opportunity. 

"Seven feet!" Tony's little boy's voice rings through the lab, followed by whooping by Bucky and chirping by Dum-E. It was Tony's turn on the self built trebuchet, the building of which Steve has recorded in his drawing. 

"Captain. Doctor Strange is inbound."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Loran for brainstorming about kids activities in the tower!


	6. Growth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr Strange reverses the de-aging, but something is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big thank you to [Betheflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betheflame/) who is a trooper and wonderful at last minute betaing and suggestions!

Tony doesn't like the Doctor. The man frowns the entire time he's talking with Captain Steve, and he never warns them before he starts waving his arms. 

The Doctor is supposed to heal him? He’s not even entirely sure he wants to become big again, the last weeks have been the best of his life.

Tony yells when green foggy tendrils suddenly shoot out from the Doctor's hands and envelope him. In two large strides Captain Steve is with Tony and picks him up. It doesn't make the fog disappear, but it's a little less scary when Captain Steve holds him close to his chest and tells him he's safe. Miss Natasha is holding Bucky, who's cursing up a storm, but Tony can't pay it any heed when it feels like he's stretching, every part of him  _ burning.  _

"Make it stop!" he sobs and tries to hide against Captain Steve's neck, who lied. This is not safe. 

Captain Steve hugs him tight but it doesn't help, everything  _ hurts.  _

"Stop," Tony whimpers softly, despite knowing grown ups never stop.

He's getting groggy now, the pain overwhelms everything, but then, blessedly, he slips into unconsciousness. 

  
  
  
  
  


Holding the sobbing little boy as Strange works his magic is by far the hardest thing Steve has ever done. He knows, like no one else quite does, what it's like to grow as fast as this, and he wishes it on no one, least of all a heavily traumatised four year old.

Strange thought it wouldn’t hurt, but can’t stop the transforming magic once it takes hold, for fear of turning Tony into something in between. 

Bucky's cursing and wishing a swift death onto them for hurting Tony only adds to the  emotions swirling through Steve - helplessness, frustration - because Steve inwardly agrees: he hates doing this to Tony. 

Steve holds onto the boy even when he stretches and grows, holding his increased weight easily and gladly as it’s the only thing he can do at the moment.

"Something's wrong," Nat warns just before Steve feels the sticky wetness soak his shirt. 

"What did you do to him?" Bucky sounds frantic now.

"He's bleeding, call a medic quick!" Someone yells. It might've been Jim, but Steve doesn't look to see what's happening around them. He carefully lowers a now fully grown Tony to the ground to assess the damage. Bruce is with him in an instant and rips away the remnants of Tony's clothes to use as temporary tourniquets.

Steve holds Tony to his chest, his shape and size unfamiliar but also not, putting pressure on the wound in Tony's side where he's losing too much blood. His breathing is rasping and irregular, and Steve knows that sound intimately from when his own lungs were failing him one too many times way back when. 

He looks up when Bucky suddenly stops yelling. Jim and Nat lower the unconscious boy to the ground together - Nat sporting a black eye and Jim a torn shirt - and they watch the boy grow into a man again. Apart from his anger about Tony's treatment, Bucky seems to be fine, and Steve sighs in relief. He doesn't think he could take having both of his friends in mortal danger. 

" _ Steve _ ," Tony suddenly speaks up, his face ashen but his eyes bright. "Thank you."

Before Steve can answer, Strange is back and puts Tony into some sort of stasis to keep him stable enough to transport him to the medical wing. The Doctor looks worn and haggard, magic isn't without its cost, but he walks with them to the ICU without complaint.

\---

They operate on Tony for hours. Steve is camped outside the theatre where he can keep an eye on the proceedings when Bucky walks in.

Steve shoots out of his chair to pull Bucky into a fierce hug before pulling back to look him over and hug him again.

“Shh, it’s okay, Stevie,” Bucky huffs, but he hugs Steve back just as fiercely, and a weight falls off Steve's shoulders. Bucky is okay. 

"I've missed you. Big you." It's inadequate, but Steve doesn't know how else to give words to his fear he might've lost his friends to childhood forever. 

" _ Steve _ ," Bucky answers, his voice as fond as his expression before it turns into a smirk. "Sorry for cursing at you." 

Bucky turns to the window before Steve can voice his surprise. "How is he?"

All that's visible of Tony in between the doctors, nurses and equipment are his lower legs and feet covered by the operating sheet, but Steve knows how much blood Tony lost before Strange could stabilize him. 

Steve stares at the doctors at work, unable to comprehend what exactly they’re doing to his friend, and glad for it lest he would worry even more. “The nurse said he’s stable at the moment,” Steve answers, pulling his eyes away from the scene behind the glass and towards Bucky.

“You remember what happened?” He asks, curious. He had thought that because the boys had no memories of being grown up, the adults wouldn’t remember their forced time as kids.

“Vaguely,” Bucky says, not turning to face Steve. “It’s like a dream you had where some details stick out and you remember some of the outline, but not everything adds up.”

Steve studies Bucky as he leans his forehead against the glass, the metal arm above his head. He hopes his friend remembers the good things of the last few weeks, the things Steve will secretly miss. The three of them lying in bed as Steve read a book; the team coming together and having fun at dinner. If not for the horrible fact his friends had been experimented on against their will, Steve had enjoyed himself more than he dares to admit. 

Bucky finally turns away from the window to join Steve and sit in one of the too small plastic chairs. “I hate this,” he says quietly, squirming in his seat. “I can’t stand to just… wait and hope for the best.”

Steve hums and reaches out to take Bucky’s hand like he had in the past few weeks when either of the boys was scared or feeling off. Just before their fingers touch Steve realizes what he’s doing and he freezes, his hand hovering hesitantly in the air above Bucky’s. This might have been something Steve has dreamed about doing long before Bucky had been taken by AIM, but now everything is muddled and he doesn’t know what to do.

Bucky huffs and grabs Steve’s hand with an exaggerated eye roll and a fond “punk,” and together they watch their friend fight for his life.

\---

Tony wakes up to pain and nausea and more pain, feeling like an old man as he shifts and groans.

_ Ohh. _

The last thing he clearly remembers was clinging to Capt--, to Rogers with Strange doing his magic schtick, and apparently the good doctor succeeded in re-aging him. He gingerly holds up his hands to check, and they are unmistakably grown up hands. He stares at them in disbelief before a small movement tugs at the wounds on his torso.

_ Bloody hell _ , he had forgotten about the almost fatal stab wound among others. He  _ hates _ magic and he  _ hates _ AIM and he double hates being in hospital. It must be nighttime because there’s no other sounds than those of the machines to which he is hooked, and thus no one to help him get home.

With a sigh he lowers his hands onto the bed again. He wonders how Bucky is doing.

“Sir?” Jarvis asks in a whisper.

“Jarvis!” Tony is flooded with a sense of gratitude towards his old friend and he twists to see if he can make out the camera.

“Sir, please, I implore you to stay calm. The sutures ruptured once already, before they deemed you stable enough to be brought here,” Jarvis warns in a worried tone.

Tony nods and settles, happier knowing he’s not just in any hospital, but in the wing at the tower. If Jarvis is there he knows things will work out, his friend has never let him down yet. The memories of being smaller are getting fuzzier already, like looking through a fogged window, but Tony clearly remembers the relief he felt as a boy when Jarvis made himself known. 

“Thank you, Jarvis,” he says softly, knowing Jarvis will hear him. 

“Always, sir. It's a pleasure to have you back.”

Tony nods. He's not sure how he feels about it yet,but it’ll be better when he's healed enough to go out and about, he tells himself. He firmly ignores the little voice that wonders why there's no one here besides Jarvis, but it's hard to keep the feeling of dejectedness at bay. 

He misses the comfort of Bucky's solid presence and the proud smile of Capt--, of  _ Steve _ more than he cares to admit. 

Burrowing deeper under the blanket, he tries to fall asleep, but it's no use. With rising shame he recalls all the things he told Bucky about life in the mansion, details he had planned on taking to his grave with him. He recalls clinging to Bucky constantly, not daring to talk to anyone. 

His whole carefully constructed persona  _ gone _ in the blink of an eye. He can perfectly picture the pitied looks and hushed remarks. Morose, he waits for someone to come. 

\----

"Captain, Sergeant," Jarvis' voice filters through a hazy dream where Steve had to hold onto Tony while Peggy put the arc reactor into his chest and young Bucky was yelling "my turn, my turn," in glee. 

He doesn't immediately recognize the weight on his chest until Jarvis calls them a second time. Bucky shoots up straight from where he had been drooling against Steve's shoulder, and Steve immediately misses the weight and warmth of him. 

"Is he okay? Is he awake?" Bucky asks, looking imploringly up at Jarvis' camera. 

"Sir just woke up." 

Bucky stands and all but runs into the hallway, without waiting for him. Steve pushes the flash of hurt that Bucky completely ignores him far, far down. They've been waiting for Tony to wake up for two days - of course Bucky wants to be there ASAP. He didn't even want to leave Tony's side at all, only crashed here after Nat used some creative Russian threats. 

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Steve follows after Bucky, eager to see Tony as well. He enters the doorway just to see Bucky sit down next to Tony’s bed and gently take one bandaged hand in his. It’s clear Tony doesn’t know what to do with himself - smiling a tad bit too bright, his eyes not completely into it - but after a remark from Bucky he seems to melt into the pillow and nods. Steve feels like an intruder, just like he often did when he came to check on the boys, as Tony’s face softens and he smiles at Bucky, a genuine one.

When Tony’s eyes fall on Steve hovering awkwardly in the doorway, his features tighten again for a second. It’s gone in an instant, and Steve only noticed because he made a study of Tony’s expressions. The smile he gifts to Steve is of a whole different caliber than how he looks at Bucky, if you know what to look for. 

That’s okay, Steve reassures himself. These men went to hell and back together, of course they have bonded in ways Steve can’t ever hope to compete with. They were inseparable for weeks, that must transfer into their regrown form in some way. 

Steve steps into the room with a soft smile and pulls up a chair to sit next to Bucky. “Hey there, Shellhead. Glad to have you back again.” 

He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He wants to touch Tony, to feel for himself his friend is alive and well, but he doesn’t think it’s welcome. He lightly puts them on his own knees instead.

“Pfff,” Tony scoffs. “You need to do more than half eviscerate, de-age and then re-age me to get rid of me, Rogers, you know that.”

“Duly noted,” Steve grins back. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” 

Some unspoken communication passes between Tony and Bucky, and as Steve wracks his brain for a way to break the silence, the doctor walks in. 

“Anthony Edward Stark, if you ever pull another stunt like that I  _ will  _ kill you, revive you and kill you again,” she growls, holding her tablet like she means to cuff Tony on the head with it.

“I’m sorry?” Tony grins in answer, and Steve knows it’s okay when the doc bents forward to gently kiss Tony on his cheek.

“I swear it’s completely your fault if I’m grey before fifty.”

“But you’ll look majestic because of it.”

“Stop it, you.” The doctor bats at Tony’s upper arm and then looks at Steve and Bucky. “If you don’t mind, I need to examine my patient now.”

Bucky seems reluctant to go, but Steve sees Tony squeezes his hand. “Go on, Buckaroo, Cecilia is good people. Let her do her job and you can come back and hover over me in no time.”

“You’ll regret that promise. Ask Stevie, I’m a terrible mother hen,” Bucky smirks, acting tougher than Steve knows he’s feeling.

“I’ll take my chances.” Tony smiles at Bucky in a way that makes Steve feel like he’s not even in the room. 

That’s okay. This isn’t about him. 

With a clap on Bucky’s shoulder and a smile for Tony and the doctor, Steve herds his friend out of the room and into the hall. "Come, let's see if we can sneak him in some junk food." 

Bucky smiles at him gratefully and surely that's enough. If his friends are happy it doesn’t matter at all what Steve wants. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, the boys are big again! I'm sorry to see them gone, but I am looking forward to the next chapters: let the great pining commence!  
I'm still working on the next chapters, so if there are things you really want to see let me know in the notes.


	7. Being grown up isn't what it's cracked up to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony recovers, and he doesn't like it. Lots of fluff.

“Stop fussing already, Honeybear.” Tony bats at Rhodey, who is trying to stuff another pillow at Tony’s side. 

“Fussing is my middle name,  _ and  _ we had this deal going that if you ever got your ass kidnapped again I had full right to fuss however I saw fit, or did you forget  _ mister “let’s step out of my bullet proof laser proof titanium alloy armour to fight this dude with my bare hands” Stark?” _ Rhodey gives him that look that’s an exact copy of Roberta Rhodes’ unimpressed glare - the memory of which still puts the fear of God into Tony. He knows Rhodey is right about both the promise and the less-than-optimal decision he made on the battlefield. Plus, his Platypus never backs down once he pulls that face, so Tony lets himself slump into the pillows with an exaggerated sigh but lets Rhodey position the pillows around him without further complaint. 

“There. Snug as a bug.” Rhodey smiles sweetly at him and finally,  _ finally _ hands over the tablet Tony has been hankering for. The evil wonder twins hid it from him on account of the evil doctor telling them he should rest more. Lucky for him, Rhodey spent way more time at Tony’s bedside in the past than the souped up duo, so he knows it’s better to let Tony have his tablet for fear of worse consequences. It wouldn’t be the first time he checked himself out of the hospital.

Thinking about Bucky and Steve does complicated things to Tony’s insides, and he shoots a glance at the huge Iron Man balloon they gave him only this morning that’s still tied to the foot of his bed. They have been at his bedside almost the entire time since he woke up, and only left to give him and Rhodey some privacy. And hopefully to have a shower and a shave, because they’re starting to look like super hobos. 

“What’s with the face?” 

“What face?” Tony quickly schools his features and focuses on his tablet. He knows it’s no use, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still pretend.

“That face just now. Which one is it? Barnes or Rogers? It’s Barnes, isn’t it?” Rhodey sits down on the couch Steve moved in the room after Bucky complained about his back.

“Barnes what?” Tony still tries to deflect, pulling up the specs of the suit he wore during the fight. “Jarvis, do we have anything on the EMP’s they used?”

“T _ ony. _ I’ve known you since before you could grow a beard but still tried to to impress what was his name in Geometry ...”

“Clive.”

“Clive. I  _ know _ that face.”

“What do you want me to say?” Tony looks up to glare at his best friend. “They’re inseparable.” 

Some part, okay, a big part of Tony loves every second the soldiers spend with him. Another part of him can’t help but think that they only do this because he’s fragile, breakable. Because they know what he was like as a kid and maybe feel guilty in a way he’s not quite sure about yet. But it’s clear in the way they are always together that they really would rather be just by themselves. As soon as Tony is out and about things will change back to how they were: them living together and occasionally visiting Tony in his workshop. Them sharing an apartment, a history, the couch; and Tony… Tony will do whatever it takes to make them happy and comfortable.

Something in Tony’s face makes Rhodey’s features soften with that look that means he wishes something better for Tony, but doesn’t know how to help him get it. It’s a look Tony is intimately familiar with, since his life has been a hot flaming mess ever since they met in college. It’s a look he hates, but also can’t really hate because it shows how much Rhodey cares.

Rhodey holds up his hands in a gesture that he won’t push. For now at least, and Tony looks back at his work, the specs of the EMP Coulson’s team found waiting for him in a new window.

“Yoga retreat in Finland?” Rhodey’s voice is back to sounding amused at the spin Pep gave on his prolonged absence from the limelight. 

“I found myself amidst the penguins, get with the times, Platypus.”

“There are no penguins in Finland.”

“We flew ‘em in.”

“You flew in penguins for your yoga classes?”

“Eccentric billionaire. I can fly whatever the heck I want anywhere and it’ll still be more believable than what really happened. Jarvis, blow this part up.”

Through the holograph Jarvis projected above his lap, Tony can clearly see the thoughtfulness on his friend’s face. 

“You were cute as a baby.”

“I wasn’t a baby.”

“You were too. Had the chubby arms and everything. Mama would’ve eaten you alive had she met you that young.” The grin in Rhodey’s voice makes Tony look up from his work, grateful for his friend who always knows when to push and when to distract with banter.

“She basically did that when we met anyway,” Tony answers, smiling fondly at the memory of Roberta pulling him to her ample chest before bustling him into her kitchen to feed him meat pie. 

“You were way too skinny to eat when we met.”

“Fast metabolism.”

“So that’s what it’s called now.”

They sit in silence for a while. Tony getting lost in the specs of the EMP and Rhodey content to let him. 

Tony shoots him a glance. His oldest friend, the one constant in his life. The only one who never judges or condemns him, and Tony had been terrified of him, if only for a day or two.

“Thank you, Jim,” Tony says quietly, knowing his friend will understand.

“Any time, Tones,” Rhodey smiles. “... Besides, you were cute.”

“I wasn’t!”

\---

“Where’s Elsa?”

Steve has to make a conscious effort to keep the smile on his face when this is the first question Tony hits him with when he comes in.

“Stephen might have found a way to track the scientists who…”  _ Transformed you, experimented on you, took you away from me… _ “made the device, but he needs to scan Bucky for residue magic or something like that.” Steve smiles apologetically as he sits down next to Tony’s bed. “So it’s just me today.”

Tony frowns, and Steve isn’t quite sure if it’s because how he hates being left out of the loop, or because he’d rather have Bucky there instead of Steve. In the past few days it was obvious Tony and Bucky had grown really close together during their ordeal; finishing each other’s sentences, laughing about jokes Steve didn’t get at all. It’s a little like losing two friends in one go, even if they’re still there to watch. He knows they don’t do it on purpose, that they can’t help being drawn to each other and thus away from Steve. Doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“Fine, but that means  _ you _ will have to man up and play baccarat with me, Spangles. That or give me some damn info on what's going on so I can help you search.” Tony’s frown turns into a full glare and Steve feels bad for him. He knows how much it sucks to have to stay in bed while others go about their lives.

Luckily, Steve came prepared and pulls a tablet from his backpack. “Here, don’t tell Bucky or he’ll have me for lunch,” he faux whispers behind his hand. 

“Ahhh, you’re the absolute best!" Tony beams, and Steve's stomach does a little swoop when Tony smiles at him. 

"Gimme, gimme." Tony does that grabby hands gesture which Steve recognizes from his four year old self, and it's no less endearing now that he's forty something again. 

Almost reluctantly, Steve hands him the tablet, because Tony shifts his attention from Steve to the information provided and he knows it's just his imagination, but the room seems to dim. Tony wiggles his feet happily, though, and throws up several holograms as he mutters to himself. 

Steve pulls his sketchbook from his bag and sits back to draw Tony like he just looked at him. Wishful thinking that could've been Steve's to keep, but on paper it's almost as if it is. 

  
  


\---

There's no magical residue on Bucky and their lead is a bust. 

No one comments on the dent in the wall where Bucky punched it in frustration. They all feel it, even if they try to keep up a brave face.

\---

"I don't need a fucking wheelchair!" Tony almost yells at that stupid handsome face that belongs to that stupid handsome soldier. 

Bucky looks back unimpressed, and Tony knows he's being childish, but dammit, he has  _ some _ pride left. Apparently Bucky disagrees.

"You either get in the dang chair or imma carry you bridal style."

Tony knows it's no use to argue by now. Not even the Capsicle is as stubborn as James Buchanan Barnes. Not that  _ he's _ here to plead Tony's case. Steve is coming less and less with Bucky to visit him. They say it's because he's called in by Fury, but Tony suspects it has more to do with Tony's temper after five days of mandatory bed rest. 

"Okay. Carry me, then, Bronco." Tony folds his arms and pushes out his chin in  _ the _ epitome of childish defiance. If he is going to be treated like a kid, Bucky can suck it. 

"Thought you'd never ask, doll," Bucky practically purrs, and  _ wow _ , that sound is enough to drive Tony to heart palpitations. It gets worse when Bucky lifts him ever so gently, like he's precious, something to be treasured. Tony's traitorous heart beats a staccato rhythm in his throat, surely loud enough for Bucky to notice, and he has to make a conscious effort not to push his face against Bucky's chest like he did so often when they were small. He might've thought Bucky was his best friend then, but Tony knows better now. 

"Relax, I ain't gonna bite ya," Bucky says close to his ear, "not until the doc clears you for strenuous activity that is."

Tony turns his head fast enough to get whiplash, just for the sniper to wink at him. 

Tony hides his… whatever it is Bucky’s joke elicits in him -  _ arousal, longing, sadness _ \- behind a glare. “Promises, promises. Doctor won’t clear me for anything if you keep carrying me around like a rag doll,” he huffs.

“B _ aby doll _ ,” Bucky counters as he steps into the elevator.

Tony can’t stand to look at their reflection so he watches the numbers above the door instead, pretending he can’t wait to be back in his apartment again. One part of him was ready to crawl back to his workshop in the last few days, going out of his mind of boredom and pent up energy, but another part of him knows this will spell the end of Bucky spending day and night with him. It’s been over a month since he slept by himself, and Tony doesn’t know if he can anymore. He most certainly knows he doesn’t want to, but life has hardly ever catered to his desires. 

The doors open with a soft ding and Jarvis telling him, “Welcome home, sir.” 

Tony braces himself for the inevitable awkward goodbye moment as Bucky steps into the penthouse, but is pulled from his thoughts by the team jumping up from behind the bar.

“SURPRISE!” they yell and cluster around where Bucky gently lowers him onto the sofa. 

“Welcome home, Stank,” Clint says and plops himself onto the couch next to Tony. He pushes a glass into his hand and grins widely. “Certified, one hundred percent alcohol free mocktail of freedom and fitamins _ . _ ”

“Thank you?” Tony says, utterly bewildered as Bruce waves at him and Nat sets herself down on the coffee table across from them.

“Better than what your bots cook up, huh?” Clint says and slurps loudly from his straw, motioning none too subtly with his chin for Tony to try as well. 

Tony tastes it and finds himself pleasantly surprised, but can’t really react when Steve comes in together with Bucky - who he didn’t even notice leaving - carrying steaming trays.

“Welcome back, Tony,” Steve smiles next to a beaming Bucky and it’s unfair what a good looking couple they make. 

“Did you know Cap can cook?” Clint asks conversationally, removing the straw from his glass so he can take the last sip. “Because he’s been holding out on us, I’m telling ya.”

Steve blushes and shuffles his feet, looking back at Bucky who nods at him to go ahead. “I just thought it’d be nice to have nice food now that you’re home again?” 

Tony waits as Steve comes forward to put his tray on the table, nudging Nat to the side who gets up after squeezing Tony’s thigh. Below the cover is an assortment of things Tony loved as a kid and never really had the time or inclination to make again. (Except for mac and cheese, he practically lived on mac and cheese during college.)

He’s not sure how to feel about all of this. Probably not sad, but when was the last time he adhered to social standards? He sniffs once and everyone was nice enough not to notice, busying themselves with refilling mocktail glasses, serving food and chatting. 

Bucky shoos Clint away and settles in his place next to Tony, handing him a plate and a fork like it’s the most normal thing in the world. 

Maybe it is. 

Maybe it could be, but only if he ignores Steve who sits down in the chair farthest away from them, and the looks Bucky shoots him from beside Tony. 


	8. Bucky has a type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More pining. Bucky is Done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter! Sorry it took so long, my brain was way more interested in producing kinktober fics and every time I opened this one it refused to cooperate. Lots of love and thanks to [Betheflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betheflame/) who helped me past this block and is the best beta to ever beta, and to [Antchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANTchan/) for cheering me on!
> 
> Have you seen the chapter number go up? Yup. I'm hoping to finish the story in the next one though...
> 
> Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!

Bucky can't sleep. He can't quite remember when this wasn't the case. (Blatant lie. He can remember with perfect clarity when he used to wake up curled around golden perfection, ice cold feet against his shins and silky soft hairs tickling his nose. The air around them cold enough that if he should move it would come out in white puffs, but there, under four layers of quilted and woollen blankets, it felt warm and safe.)

Sleep has been elusive for a long, long time, ever since he found himself and his squad in a transport plane to Europe, really. They say a soldier can sleep anywhere, and it’s true. When you’re that exhausted you can fall asleep in a ditch next to the side of the road. Bucky even caught a wink in the trenches here and there. But true restful sleep? The sort where you awake feeling relaxed and invigorated? Bucky hasn’t had the fortune of experiencing that since 1944. 

That is, until some whackjob scientist (it’s always the scientists, isn’t it?) shrunk him and he found himself in a bed with an even younger version of Tony Stark. After the first few nightmare ridden nights they started to relax, and Bucky slept full solid nights for the first time in seventy odd years.

Even after Strange somehow managed to fix them he slept okay, lying on that couch in Tony’s hospital room. Something about knowing Tony was near; hearing that familiar whistle-like sound of his diminished lungs coupled with the soft hum of the reactor was enough for Bucky to rest peacefully.

But here he is now, lying alone again after more than a month. He can’t stand it anymore. He keeps tossing and turning, hoping for that moment where thoughts start to slow and everything seems to mellow, but it never comes.

He replays the past afternoon before his mind’s eye. Tony’s surprise and the way he choked up at his surprise party will never _ not _get to Bucky. Did he honestly think they were just gonna put him up in the penthouse by himself? It makes Bucky’s blood boil with a desire to travel back in time to punch Howard in the balls. The things Tony confided to him as they lay together in the dark waiting for sleep to come… It’s a good thing Howard is long dead and buried. Bucky has seen first hand what having an abusive parent does to someone, but Stevie always had him to fall back on, while as far as Bucky can tell, Tony only had Jarvis.

He turns in his bed again, searching for that one non-existent cold spot on his pillow. 

Will Tony be able to sleep? Bucky fights the temptation to ask Jarvis; that’s stalker territory. 

He twists the blankets and wonders where Steve is. Punk left without really saying anything right after dinner. Bucky wishes he could look into his friend’s head. He’s sure it’s full of nonsense, but he knows Steve will only dig his heels in if Bucky approaches him without a clear idea of what’s going on. It could be anything from feeling personally responsible for the kidnapping, or for not finding the bastards who did it yet, to embarrassment about how he treated them as kids.

With a sigh, he sits up and throws his legs over the edge of the bed. He's too damn old to torture himself like this now he knows the solution is lying half a floor away. _ Hopefully _ lying. If he finds Tony in the workshop, he'll have to carry him back. _ A bit like a wayward kitten _, Bucky chuckles as he slips on sweats and a shirt. 

Suits him right for always falling for the feisty ones. He can't even remember how often he had to drag Stevie away from another stunt or whatever. Maybe it's time to do it again, throw Stevie over his shoulder for being a dumbass as well. 

He silently leaves his room and pads across the hallway to the master bedroom. He pauses before he knocks, but then remembers the sad look in Tony's eyes when it was time to leave for bed and he raps softly on the wood. Soft enough it won't wake Tony if the man is asleep. 

A second goes by without anything, but then Bucky clearly hears rustling, a thump and a muffled curse. 

Bucky rolls his eyes and prays for patience before opening the door to see Tony awkwardly leaning on his bedside table to try and pick up the crutch that has fallen to the ground. 

"Anthony Edward Stark, I swear to God if you don't get back into that bed Imma go and lie on top of you to keep you there," Bucky threatens as he steps into the room and stalks over to help Tony sit up again. 

"Do you know how much blood you lost when you ripped your sutures thrashin' in your sleep, huh?" He continues without leaving room for Tony to reply. "It was a fucking nightmare, is what it was. I ain't got no inclination to go through that again."

He gently helps Tony down, belying his harsh tone.

"What the hell are you doing here, Barnes," Tony glares at him as soon as he's lying propped up against the pillows. He's too pale for Bucky's taste, but he refrains from tucking Tony in and sits down on the edge of the bed instead. 

"Couldn't sleep, after, you know," Bucky gestures vaguely between the two of them and shrugs. "It's too quiet without you snorin' like a chainsaw," he adds with a smirk and easily catches the pillow aimed for his face. 

"You're a menace and you're lucky I put up with you, Elsa," Tony huffs and pulls back the blankets of his ridiculous super sized bed. "No funny business," he adds, and Bucky holds back a sigh of relief. 

"Ain't got a funny bone in my body," he grins and climbs next to Tony, lying a respectful distance away. 

"And no yapping my ear off," Tony says, still pretending to frown, but Bucky knows him well enough to notice how he relaxes into the pillow.

Bucky mimes zipping his mouth shut and settles on his side, watching Tony to see if there's something else he needs off his chest. 

Tony's staring at the ceiling and Bucky wonders what he's thinking about. He knows Tony hates lying propped up like this, but so far lying normally put too much of a strain on the sutures and his lungs. 

"Stevie and I used ta sleep sittin' up, when his lungs were tryna kill him, you wanna try that?"

Bucky isn't sure why he offers this now. Okay, untrue, he does because he's a greedy bastard and now that Tony is so close he just wants to hug him again like they did when they were shrunk. 

An expression flashes over Tony's features too fast to make out in the dark, but then Tony shakes his head. "That won't do any good," he says decisively and Bucky nods. 

"Okay." It's easy to hide his disappointment in the dark. Bucky's 99 percent sure Tony returns his feelings, but the genius is proving as thick headed as that other fella. Knowing what he knows about Tony's past helps to stay patient, at least for a little while longer. 

Both lost in their own thoughts, they finally fall asleep. 

\---

The next night Bucky starts in his own bed, but moves to Tony's after trying for just an hour. 

The night after that? He doesn't even see his own room. 

\---

"I'd like to try that sitting up schtick you mentioned."

"Sure thing, doll." 

\---

"There he is," Clint smiles. 

"Tony!"

Steve's face lights up in a way it rarely does nowadays, when Tony comes walking into the common room by himself, only supported by a crutch. 

It makes something itch inside Bucky, a need to bang Steve's head against a wall to make him see sense. Steve has been notably absent in the visitors to Tony's floor the past week, so him glowing in happiness at seeing Tony again doesn’t make any sense. 

“Yeah, yeah, hold your horses. It's just little old me at team dinner night,” Tony grunts as he lets himself fall onto the nearest chair, sounding almost bored. But Bucky notices that thing he does where he tilts his head which means he’s secretly pleased. 

Steve moves to stand, but pauses in an awkward half crouch, and Bucky has to make an effort not to roll his eyes at his friend as he sits down next to Tony.

“Bruce made rogan josh.” Nat comes walking in from the kitchen with a huge pile of naan on a plate and kisses Tony on the top of his head after she put it on the table. 

“Don’t touch those if you want to keep all ten digits,” she warns Bucky and he blows her a kiss.

“_Nat _,” Steve frowns. 

“_Steven. _” 

“Now, now, children,” Tony scolds in a fake tone, “everyone knows all the naan is truly for me.” 

This, of course, launches a giant fight over who deserves the naan more - Steve even suggests pulling in a whiteboard to take notes to the ridicule of just about everyone - and while Clint and Steve are in a particularly passionate debate about if Clint could get a hit on Steve if they used naan as their chosen weaponry, Bucky leaned into Tony. 

“You gonna tell me what’s happening in your genius brain?”

Tony looks at him sideways and makes a face. “I was calculating the range of a short-range weapons system if AIM had it on Greenland.”

“You were thinking about how you’re too much trouble for us,” Bucky respond. 

Tony blinks a few times, letting that hang in the silence between them. “Balderdash, I’m a delight.”

Bucky bites his lip to keep from grinning. He’s learned a lot about Tony Stark during their ordeal - and not just details of his childhood. Tony may as well have just confirmed Bucky’s theory with a full add in _The_ _New York Times_.

“Sure, Stark. Sure.”

\---

The evening is a test of patience; and Steve has been accused of many things over the years, but being patient isn’t one of them. He’d leave if he could get away with it, but as team lead he can hardly pretend he has other business to attend to.

Every smile shared between Tony and Bucky, the casual way Bucky has slung his arm over the back of Tony's chair, the way they whisper among themselves like they're a little team within their team: it all grates. Hurts, really. 

He's glad for them, for this bond they developed under extreme hardship. They deserve it like no other, but with every interaction with them Steve feels more and more left behind. 

There might've been a time where they all seemed to revolve around each other. The three of them moving closer and closer in an intricate dance that could only end in one way, to Steve's mind. AIM has thoroughly ruined that. Tony and Bucky are closer than ever, leaving Steve fumbling by himself in their wake. He's sure they'll announce their relationship anytime soon now. 

He almost sighs in relief when the final piece of desert is gone and Tony's face splits in a huge yawn. 

"C'mon, doll face," Bucky smiles fondly. "Let's get you back to bed."

Steve hurries to bring the plates to the kitchen so he doesn't have to watch Tony leaning heavily on Bucky, Bucky's arm wrapped snug around his waist. 

And if he goes for an extra long jog outside so he won't have to notice that Bucky doesn't return after helping Tony to bed, that's Steve's secret to keep, right?

\---

The problem with running away is that it only works for as long as you're actually away. (And only when Steve pushes his body so hard he's sweating and panting, his muscles aching at the mistreatment.)

When Steve is mixing his breakfast granola the next morning Bucky comes shuffling into the kitchen wearing a band shirt and sweats that are both obviously too small for him, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who they belong to.

They both look in shock at where Steve squeezed the bowl tight enough to make it explode into tiny pieces; spraying him, the floor and the nearby cabinets with a mixture of yogurt and shards of glass. 

"Dammit!" Steve growls after a split second of being frozen. 

Blood from a gush in his hand drips into the dairy mess on the floor turning it pink, and he quickly throws the remnants of the bowl into the sink. 

"Let me--" Bucky comes over but Steve shoves him backwards. 

"Get away!" he snaps and Bucky's hurt look smarts way more than his busted hand. "You don't have shoes," he adds and waves at the mess on the floor, making more blood drip along his arm. 

"Shit." He grabs a towel from the counter and wraps it around his hand.

"You can't use that, there's food on that," Bucky points out but Steve ignores him and drops to his haunches to scoop up the largest chunks of glass. The serum can heal any little infection, but not the way his chest seems to constrict whenever he has to deal with his friends. 

"Steven Grant Rogers, so help me…" Bucky sounds like he's talking through gritted teeth, something that's reserved for when he's at the end of his patience with Steve. 

"Jarvis, where are the Roombas?" Bucky barks and appears behind the counter. In a feat of super soldier acrobatics, he manages to haul Steve to his feet without either one of them stepping into the glass, and pulls him behind him to the sink in the bar at the other end of the common room. 

Steve wants to struggle and push Bucky away, it's practically in his DNA to fight, but he feels drained more than anything and he lets himself be dragged along until Bucky shoves his hand under the water none too gently.

“I got it.” Steve tries to pull his hand back, but can’t, not without a real struggle, and he frowns at Bucky who looks back unflinching until Steve relaxes his arm again.

Bucky mutters under his breath about _ punks _ being _ stupid _ when he turns back to remove the glass splinters with way more gentleness than his demeanor implies. 

“I’m right here, you know,” Steve frowns.

“Yeah, well, where were you the_ past week _, Steve?” Bucky snaps, not looking up again.

Steve knows what he means. Of course he does. Steve has used every excuse in the book to stay away from the penthouse, including clearing out his backlog of paperwork at SHIELD, all to avoid having to look at Bucky lying next to Tony in their super king sized walhalla of pillows and blankets. He’s not gonna tell Bucky that, though, even if he’s secretly pleased his friend did miss him during his honeymoon phase. 

“Work, there might be a lead on AIM,” he hedges. The lead is nothing but the surveillance footage Coulson’s team has looked at a hundred times already.

“Bullshit, you’ve been avoidin' us.” Bucky turns off the tap and pulls a bandage from the counter above the sink. 

Steve’s silence as Bucky wraps his hand is as good a confirmation as anything, but he won’t stoop to flat out lying to his friend. Bucky deserves better than that, and besides, has known all of Steve’s tricks since the 1920s.

“So what if I have,” he answers mulishly, wincing slightly at this third grader comeback. It’s too difficult to tell Bucky the reason why, and he’s waiting for Bucky to just come out and tell him the happy news. 

_ “So what if I..? _ Dammit, Steve.” Bucky finally looks up again, but his expression is not one of anger, it’s hurt. He searches Steve’s face for something, but clearly Steve disappoints him again, because Bucky sighs and turns away.

“Steve…” he starts, combing an agitated hand through his hair. “Those weeks when we were smaller… You know what I liked about that?” 

Steve shakes his head, he hadn’t thought Bucky liked anything about being small. Sure, he had accepted it at some point, but he never lost that veneer of _ fight me _ that had been at the forefront those first days. 

“Bein’ a family,” Bucky states, looking so wistful that Steve has to clench his fists to keep from pulling him into a hug. “Havin’ you around almost 24/7.”

Steve must look confused because Bucky huffs a laugh. “Yeah, _ you _, Stevie. Why the heck would ya think I wouldn’t mind you disappearin’ on us like that?”

It’s the ‘us’ in that sentence that hurts, the _ us _ and not _ I, _ and Steve knows he can’t pretend any longer, it’s not fair.

“You and Tony…” He pushes out before his courage fails _ him _ , the _ great _ Captain America _ . _

“It’s obvious you don’t need me anymore,” he says awkwardly, wishing Bucky would take that as an answer and let him go, but his friend stares at him with a mixture of disbelief and confusion on his face.

“Me and Tony what? What the hell are you talkin’ about?”

“Do I need to spell it out for you? I’m glad, really, I am. For both of you,” Steve hastes to add, “and I… I just wanted to give you some space.”

Bucky shakes his head. “For a tactical genius you really are an idiot,” he huffs and steps forward. “Can you spell this?” 

With the softest of touches Bucky presses his lips against Steve’s. It’s barely a kiss, but somehow it has the power to completely turn his world upside down. 

“I’m confused now,” he whispers, hesitant to break this spell of… whatever it is that possessed Bucky to _ kiss _ him.

“I know, buddy,” Bucky smiles and leans his forehead against Steve’s. “I’ll get you up to speed.”

\---

Tony knows he will get scolded for this, but no man should have to wait for his coffee this ungodly amount of time.  
  
He shuffle-hobbles his way awkwardly through the common area, cursing himself for not outfitting his bedroom with a coffee machine.

“Jarvis, order me a coffee machine for the bedroom. Make it a fancy one that can do hot cocoa as well.” Bucky might agree to the thing if it makes hot chocolate. That man has a sweet tooth as large as the state of Texas.

“Certainly, sir,” Jarvis answers in that tone that spells nothing but trouble. 

“I’ll add it on the list, right under replicator.” And there you have it.

“Traitor. I’ll build one myself then, see if I won’t.”

There are voices coming from the bar and he involuntarily turns his head as he calculates the dimensions of the smallest possible coffee machine.

What he sees makes his heart run cold: a confirmation of what he had known all along. 

As silently as he can he turns around and hobbles back to the elevator.

  
  



	9. As perfect as it gets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done, finally!!
> 
> Sorry to you subscribers it took so long to finish. Real life didn't help, nor did a massive writer's block, but I'm getting back into the swing of things. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this last chapter. I briefly considered cutting it in half, but decided that would be just evil xD
> 
> Massive thank you to Shi-Toyu for beta-ing my ramblings into something readable. 
> 
> Please let it know what you think!

Kissing. They were_ kissing _. Of course they were kissing. They probably kiss all the time, when Tony isn't being his needy, invalid self. 

Tony grips his crutch tighter and grits his teeth against the pain that has nothing to do with his busted insides. He can pretend it does. God, he wishes he could have a drink. 

"Workshop," he barks at Jarvis in the elevator. Totally unfair, but life isn't fair, is it? Or maybe it is. God knows how hard he's worked to erase the red from his ledger, but you can't, not really. You can't undo evil, you can't undo deaths or mourning or hurt. Not with all the billions and bluster in the world. 

He hobbles over the threshold of the workshop and doubles over in pain when the doors slide closed behind him. "Total lockdown, no overrides, King of the Castle protocol."

"Sir, are you su--" Jarvis implores.

"Mute," Tony groans as he hefts himself upright again. 

He looks around at the projects strewn about every available surface, discarded because AIM crawled back up from whatever sewer the blasted cockroaches disappeared to after Killian died. A foldable bow, a scope for sensitive eyes, a new kind of nano weave to reinforce his teammates' armors. 

He walks forward to put his hand on the Captain America suit, stroking the fabric that can stop a bullet but doesn't chafe. 

Tears spring to his eyes unbidden. _ Damnit. _ He wipes them away with an angry movement. Stupid pain meds messing with him again. There's no logical reason to be jealous of either soldier. They've been to hell and back, making Tony's stint with the Ten Rings look like a walk in the park. If there's ever been a couple that deserves their happily ever after it's them. Not him. 

But still. His dumb, too big heart soared at the care Bucky took of him, both as kids and the last few weeks. It had almost been as if…

Stupid fancy. Steve's absence as soon as Tony was his big self again should've been apparent enough. 

He wipes his face again and looks at the private elevator in the back of the shop. 

He shouldn't. But he can't stay here with the evidence of his naive daydream all around him - Bucky's catcher's glove, Steve's sketch pad, the blanket they shared sometimes - which means the penthouse is out as well. 

He throws his mobile on the nearest workbench and leaves without a glance backward. 

  
  


\-----

"What do you mean you don't know where he is?" Bucky almost shouts the last part of the sentence at the AI, who sounds as miserable as Steve feels. They were sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for the coffee maker to finish when Jarvis told them his creator had left the tower.

"Sir used the protocol that doesn’t allow me to make contact with anyone. I could only reach out to you once he left the tower approximately two minutes ago.”

“Did something happen? Was he called away?” Steve asks, but Bucky interrupts him with a raised hand.

“His phone?”

Even before Jarvis tells them Tony left his phone in the workshop Steve knows; Tony doesn’t want them to find him. 

The realisation is like a cold shower, because Steve knows it’s his fault. If he manned up and visited Tony the past week their friend would be safe, here, right now, instead of-- 

He pushes away images of the empty armor he found when AIM had taken his friends, ignores the snarling faces of the goons he fought to get to them. 

“Alert the team,” Steve, no, Captain America orders. There’s more than enough time for self loathing later when Tony is home again, for now he needs to focus.

“Bucky, analyze cameras within a five mile radius of the tower. Jarvis, hack whatever you need to hack to regain a visual, override code Alpha Romeo Golf Oscar Sierra Four Seven Six Six, and give me a visual of Tony’s last hour in the tower.”

Jarvis dutifully throws up several screens for Bucky to start his search, adding more and more as phone cameras and whatnot are added. 

Steve leans back against the table to look at the one Jarvis put up for him. On it, Bucky is just getting dressed, laughing heartily at some joke Tony makes. It makes Steve’s heart ache. The fond look they share is the exact one Steve wanted to avoid over the last few weeks. Bucky somehow insists on returning Steve’s feelings of _ so much more than friendship _, but it's obvious that they're only a part of this… this triad, and Steve doesn't know what to do with that. 

On screen Bucky leaves, and Tony starts tossing and wiggling in his bed, trying to find a comfortable spot. He picks up a tablet and Steve fast forwards ten minutes until Tony puts it down again. He watches Tony painfully making his way out of bed to go to the bathroom. When he returns he makes an aborted movement towards the exit, but then climbs into bed again.

It pulls on Steve's heart to see how much pain Tony is in, realising how little he showed it at dinner last night. It feels wrong to watch as Tony lays panting after just this little exercise. No masks, only weariness and pain. 

Steve fast forwards when nothing happens after Tony turns on the t.v. but slows when Tony moves to get his crutch again and climbs out of bed. 

The camera view changes to one in the hallway that shows Tony hobbling with his crutch toward and then into the elevator and then into view again as Tony emerges onto the common floor. Tony talks with Jarvis, frowning directly at the camera when it changes angle again and Steve almost startles as if Tony caught him spying. 

It's then that Tony turns around and freezes, before turning and moving back to the elevator with some speed. 

"Pause," Steve orders, "rewind fourteen seconds, give me camera views of the kitchen and bar."

New images appear, of the mess in the kitchen and the roombas rolling out. One is a frontal shot of Tony looking… Steve would say shocked, but that doesn't seem to fit the bill completely. Tony looks like someone just punched the air out of him. 

And there is the image Steve knew would show; Bucky kissing him behind the bar. This is what made Tony run away?

"We got him," Bucky says, his usually calm mission voice expressive with relief. "He's not far, got into a cab but exited only seven blocks away. Let's go."

Steve jumps after Bucky as Jarvis closes all the screens. He wishes he could bring his shield, but he doesn't want to waste one second retrieving it, and jogs after Bucky to the elevator Jarvis holds ready for them. 

Their stomachs churn and lift as Jarvis lowers the elevator as fast as it can go, his silent support in finding his master and friend as soon as possible. It opens onto the garage, and while Steve wouldn't have minded running, this is probably faster. 

"Thank you, J. We'll bring him back," he promises, willing it to be true. AIM is still out there and if they get wind of Tony being alone in his current state… Steve can't even bear to think about it.. He and Bucky jump onto their bikes and together they shoot out of the underground parking, turning sharply to weave their way through the morning rush. 

Steve has no fear and no particular care for traffic rules, but he has nothing on Bucky who weaves and cuts and turns through impossibly small spaces, pulling ahead of Steve until he jumps off his bike mid-skid in an alley and hurries into what appears to be a seedy bar. 

What?

Dread pools low in his gut as Steve stops and walks after Bucky. Steve knows about Tony's struggle with alcohol, knows now what role Howard played in it, and knows first hand how devastating and hard it is to beat (dodging his father's drunken fist was second nature to him way before his first scrap in an alley, way before he met Bucky). 

His eyes have to adjust to the semi darkness, the stench of stale beer and other fluids better not mentioned almost enough to make him gag. 

The place is nearly deserted. Steve's eyes quickly land on Bucky's back, and he notices how his friend (more than friend?) is standing unnaturally still in the back of the bar. The serum does nothing to prevent bile from rising up as he imagines what Bucky must see. 

"Agent Barton is inbound," Jarvis notifies him quietly from his phone and Steve pulls it from his pocket. 

"Tell him to set up a perimeter outside," Steve whispers as he cautiously makes his way further into the bar. 

Bucky sits down at a table just as Steve reaches it, revealing Tony hunched over a full glass of amber liquid. 

"Gotta say I’m impressed. Jarvis tattled, didn’t he?”

“What are you doing here, Tony?” Steve ignores the jab at Jarvis, who only acted in Tony’s best interest. He never was one for idle talk.

“You got us worried,” Bucky says, tone way smoother, but Tony doesn’t look up at either of them, just keeps turning the glass around and around and around between his fingers.

Steve doesn’t know what else to do other than pull out the other chair and sit down as well, feeling majorly out of his depth. He doesn’t have a way with words, can’t charm or woo like the rest of the team can. He’s a blunt instrument, and he’s afraid he’ll only make things worse if he speaks now. Bucky seems content to wait Tony out, nothing in his body betraying any tension, but the sound of the glass turning on the table grates on Steve’s nerves.

“This used to be the only place I found some comfort,” Tony says when Steve is about ready to explode, pulling his hands away from the glass and hiding them under the table. He doesn’t look up, almost as if he’s recounting this to himself instead of for their sake.

“Nobody knows about this place, and everybody who does doesn’t care a whit about a billionaire’s son. It was just me and the cheapest bourbon on sale.”

Tony huffs and looks away, to where the bartender is wiping the counter like they’re in a bad cop movie. 

“But then you lot crashed into my life. That big old hulking tower became more than concrete and steel.” He wipes a tired hand over his face and finally looks up at them. “First you made me want to do better, and then, miracle of miracles I found I didn’t need this stuff anymore.” He huffs and looks away again, down at his hands clasped in his lap. 

“Yet here I am. Same old bar, same old drink, same old loser.”

“No,” Steve frowns, sitting up straight. He can’t stand Tony talking about himself like this, it’s not fair, but Tony doesn’t even seem to hear him as he reaches for his crutch.  
  
“I’ll get out of your hair for a while, go someplace where you don’t feel the need to save me the whole damn time.”

It’s Bucky who reaches out and puts a hand on Tony’s arm. “What did we agree about talking shit about ourselves, doll?”

“That was different,” Tony wants to dismiss him, but Steve reaches to put a hand onto Tony’s other arm. 

“I don’t want you to leave,” he says, as open and plain as he can. He doesn’t have a way with words, but he has always had his honesty, and if anyone deserves the truth it’s this beautiful, imperfect genius.

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you after you… after you were back to your old self,” he starts, darting a quick look at Bucky before plowing on. “The truth is--”

Steve ducks before he even hears the glass break when a smoke grenade is thrown in their general direction, using his body to shield Tony and pull him under the table in one go. Bucky is up at the same instant, sprinting toward the window at a speed even Steve would find hard to match, jumping through the glass with his metal arm first to disappear from view.

“We need to go.” Steve picks up Tony bridal style and hurries to the back of the building to get away from the smoke. Tony is coughing badly in his arms and Steve’s afraid he’ll bust his stitches again.

“Put me down, Rogers,” Tony demands between coughs, but Steve hesitates. He can hear the sound of repulsors outside, which means Jarvis has joined the fray, along with what can only be arrows finding their targets. Steve’s every instinct tells him to hold onto Tony and protect him. To spirit him away to safety and keep him there, but he _ knows _ how it feels to be the weak one, so he puts Tony down on his feet in the narrow corridor between the restroom and the kitchen. They dart into the latter, finding the owner hiding in the pantry. Steve knows SI will repay all the damage and more, but he can’t help but feel sorry for this man who did nothing wrong other than serve Tony Stark a drink. 

Steve takes up position near Tony's back. Tony, who is pulling apart appliances and refashioning them into something Steve doesn't recognize with neck breaking speed. This is one of the parts of Tony Steve loves so much, his ability to see possibilities in anything.

From the corridor, the barest of sounds can be heard, soft footsteps and someone breathing through a gasmask.

From the way Steve draws tight in anticipation Tony must realize what's going on. "Need a minute here, Cap," he mutters around the screwdriver he magicked from somewhere in his sweats.

Steve nods, his focus entirely on the footsteps closing in. When the door opens a fraction he jumps forward just in time to catch the smoking canister that flies inside and instead throw it behind him and through one of the high windows. Even with the short amount of time Steve handled the canister, he feels slightly woozy and he hopes fervently no-one is hurt where he threw it. 

"Jarvis, the smoke is drugged in some way. Warn the others."

When the door opens again, Steve throws his weight against it and almost feels satisfied at the yell from the other side. 

"Steve, here." Tony throws something at him which turns out to be a makeshift gas mask. How the heck Tony managed to make not one, but two of these in the blink of an eye in a back alley bar's kitchen is beyond Steve, but he gratefully puts it on.

He looks to see if Tony is ready, then opens the door to the surprise of the goon behind it readying a new smoke bomb. He punches them in the mask, hard enough to break it, and they crumple to the ground. 

Behind him, he hears glass break and he turns to see another smoke bomb rolling to a halt near the counter. How many of the damn things did they bring?

Tony is barely holding himself upright by clinging to the fridge, and Steve hurries to his side to support him. The only way out is from where they came, but Steve really doesn't like how pale Tony looks. Still, they have to chance it. 

"Jarvis, we're coming out," Steve warns. In the distance he can hear sirens coming closer and he takes it as a sign. He helps Tony to the door and peeks around the corner, and suddenly Bucky is there. He looks only slightly ruffled, winking over his own gasmask when Steve catches his eye, and Steve knows the fight is done. 

Together, they shuffle through the corridor and into the cafe, encountering only one other unconscious AIM goon beside the one Steve punched, this one valiantly lending his gasmask to Bucky it seems. 

Outside they find Clint training his bow on a sad huddle of four AIM henchmen - Steve has trouble defining what to call these idiots. 

"Where're the rest?" Tony asks after pulling the gas mask off. 

"Jarvis found what appears to be their leader." Clint manages to make quotation marks at the last word while keeping his bow at his captives. "Bastard ran as soon as the fight started."

"Let's get you home, doll. Let Coulson and his team handle this lot."

"Phil's inbound," Clint agrees, his usual relaxed expression changing to worry as he briefly looks at Tony. 

Tony, in a fit of uncharacteristic obedience, nods and almost sags between them. 

"North exit," Jarvis tells them quietly, and Steve and Bucky hurry their precious charge to the exit of the alley where they find a cab waiting for them. Good old Jarvis. 

\-----

Bucky has to grit his teeth and think happy thoughts to keep himself from just picking Tony up into a bridal carry instead of watching him trying keeping himself upright as they hobble from the elevator into the penthouse. He's glad Tony at least lets them support him; he looks like he'll keel over if they don't. 

Finally, they reach the couch and carefully lower Tony onto it. Steve steps back and looks uncomfortable, but Bucky has no time to cater to his insecurities; he first needs to make sure Tony is comfortably propped up between pillows.

"Stop it, James." Tony swats feebly at Bucky's arm and he relents, suddenly feeling nervous himself. Stevie hovering nearby without sitting down doesn’t help at all, but Bucky ignores him and sits down next to Tony in the lazy chair. 

“Sit down, Steven,” Tony frowns when Steve keeps his position near the back of the couch, halfway between sitting and running if Bucky isn’t mistaken. 

Steve dutifully sits down on the couch near Tony’s feet and clasps his hands in his lap. “So…”

Bucky takes a pillow from the ground and throws it at Steve’s head. He’s done with the palpable tension between them, and Steve has always been someone who understood gestures better than words.

Steve catches the thing with ease, of course, his expression going from startled to annoyed to mischievous. 

The pillow that suddenly comes from the side catches Bucky by surprise, though he too catches it before it hits his face. Tony wears a shit eating grin, but quickly holds up his hands and looks between both of them. “You can’t throw things at me. I’m crippled, remember? I’m sure it’s in your boy scout pledge somewhere not to throw stuff at cripples.”

Bucky shares a look with Steve, who looks more at ease than he’s been since they changed back into adults, and winks. “Won’t stay like that forever, doll,” he says with an evil leer.

He hopes to make Tony smile some more, but something pulls Tony’s good humor from the air like a vacuum, leaving him to avoid Bucky’s eye and look at where he’s picking at the seam of his sweats instead. 

“I think you should stop calling me that. Considering.” Tony shrugs a little and makes a vague motion between Steve and Bucky. 

“Considering what?” Bucky decides to play dumb, even when Steve with his stupid honest face blushing bright makes it clear what is meant. Luckily, Tony doesn’t see because he’s too busy looking at his lap as the gears in his brain visibly turn and groan.

“I’m not your _ doll _ nor will I ever be,” he finally says, growls more like it, looking at Bucky with his chin raised in defiance. But Tony Stark has the most expressive set of eyes Bucky has ever encountered, and they clearly say something else.

“You could be,” Bucky replies, and then adds, because he knows Tony’s brain will spin this statement in some unfathomable way, “I want you to be.”

Steve’s small gasp and pout make Bucky roll his eyes. Dumb punk. “Stevie does too,” he adds quickly. Punching AIM idiots who tried to hurt his soon-to-be fella has left Bucky with very little patience for equivocating.

Tony looks between them with an expression that’s a mixture between incredulous, hurt, and calculating. Luckily, Stevie doesn’t need another pillow to the face to start participating in this triad Bucky is trying to create.

“It’s true,” Steve says, blushing sweetly. “I, er, I kept my distance because I thought you and Buck, you know, were a thing already.”

Tony narrows his eyes to mere slits. “Why?”

It’s Steve’s turn to look incredulous. “Because you haven’t been apart since the moment you came back from surgery? You have those in-jokes and touch each other all the time and the _ looks _! You look at each other like the other hung the moon and stars for you.”

It’s obvious Steve has given this quite a lot of thought, and Bucky feels sorry for his friend and hopefully soon-to-be lover for feeling left out like he did. Tony, meanwhile, looks like a fish on dry land as he processes what Steve just told him.

“Has the thought never crossed your mind, sweet thing?" Bucky asks gently and scoots a little closer to Tony, who briefly looks like a deer caught in headlights but recuperates quickly. 

"Of course I have," he scoffs. "Who doesn't dream of a threesome with Captain America and Boy Wonder. Don't ask my old dorm room posters what they've seen." It's supposed to come out callous, but Tony really just sounds tired and sad. 

Bucky sees Steve frowning from the corner of his eye, that isn't what they're after at all. 

"That's not what I want," Steve states, looking briefly at Bucky before turning back to Tony. "I miss hanging out with you guys; going to those hole in the wall places to find the best burger or whatever, or going for a walk in the park. I miss sharing a couch on movie nights and debating what the best pizza topping is and poking fun at movie science and lip syncing to dumb songs. I miss my best friends, and somewhere along the line I had been hoping we would be… we could become more…"

Bucky looks at Steve, feeling filled to the seams with love for this man with his earnest expression and hopeful honesty. He sees Tony regard Steve with that slight tilt to his head he has when he’s encountered variables that don’t fit into his framework. 

“Me too. I want the whole shebang, nights _ and _ days, doll.”

Tony nods, slowly, gaze fixed on his knees. Bucky sees Steve fidget, but he’s happy to wait Tony out. He knows that what they just told him shocks his whole foundation; it will take time to process.

“So, you’re ganging up on me,” Tony finally says, smiling tentatively at Steve first and then at Bucky. “Forcing this whole ‘_ romance _’ thing on me.”

“We would never force anything,” Steve answers, aghast. Dumb, sincere punk.

“Yes,” Bucky states instead. “Think walks on the beach and picnics on the roof and flowers delivered to your office.”

Tony smiles a little brighter and nods again, his face going through a whole series of expression gymnastics.

“You know I’ll suck at it,” he starts, his brows knitting in thought as he looks down again. “You know now how messed up I really am.” 

It sounds like a plea to Bucky, for what, exactly, he doesn’t know. He reaches out to take Tony’s hand in his, and smiles when Tony doesn’t pull away. “Have you even met us?” he asks with a small grin. “He was messed up way before the war even started,” he added, nodding at Steve.

“Hey!” Steve counters, but smiles as well. “It’s true,” he sighs, still smiling. “I went from a small mess to a big one.”

“And me…” Bucky shakes his head. “I don’t even know where to begin to describe what the hell is going on in my head most of the time.”

Tony’s smile returns as he listens to them, and it’s the best damn thing in the world, if you ask Bucky.

“So we’ll be messy together?” Tony asks softly, hopefully.

“Think scrambled eggs with three sauces,” Bucky confirms, and he feels like he grows three sizes when both his fellas chuckle at the bad joke.

“That was, wow, don't ever do that again," Steve grinned, and Bucky throws another pillow at his head. 

"I have to agree with Steve," Tony interjects, holding his arms in front of his face in defence. "I don't think I can take being in a relationship with _ two _ dad jokers."

Tony's laugh when they both throw a pillow at him is a gift and Bucky finally wants to taste it next to hearing it. 

"I really want to kiss you now," he says when Tony cautiously lowers his arms. He hopes it isn't too soon, but, if anything, their whole ordeal hammered home the message that they could've been too late. 

"Yeah?" Tony asks, wonder in his voice. 

"Yeah," Bucky whispers as he leans forward slowly. He only closes his eyes when his lips meet Tony's in a soft kiss. It's barely even a real kiss, but it's perfect and Bucky is hooked. 

He opens his eyes when Steve softly sighs from his corner of the couch, and pulls back. It's _ almost _ perfect. 

"Come here, punk," Bucky beckons Steve over. Tony moves to make room and together Steve and Bucky help him scoot to the middle of the couch, cuddled close between them. 

Bucky smiles at Steve, who smiles at Tony, who smiles back at the both of them. It's oddly anticlimactic and just what they need.

They have a shitton to work through yet, and they'll probably never be totally okay, but it feels pretty damn good to finally have this, the three of them, together.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://bill-longbow.tumblr.com) or join us on the 16+ [ Stuckony discord server ](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) for all things Tony, Bucky and Steve!


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